Its so hard for me to convince myself that i'm leading a better life now. I cant even lie to myself that i'd be better off without her... i really think i cant have any silent moment without me having to think of her, i have to keep myself so busy that when i lie on my bed i must fall aslp within a few secs. How much longer is this going to last?
“遇到爱情的人，要好好的珍稀。因为这是不长发生的事。”
This is an abstract from the show 星锁. This phrase is really meaningful. Love doesn't happen to a person often. Yet when it happens we just take it for granted and never cherish it. Only when u lose it then thats the time when we start regretting. 27 yrs of my life, minus off the 1st 13 yrs which leave 14 yrs of my life when i start to know what love is, true love only came to me twice, and both times i did not grab hold of it and treasure it, i wonder if cupid will give me a last chance to let me have my true love back.
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Friday, September 28, 2007
Why is it coming back????
Bewn so long since the both of us last met each other, i tot i have gotten her off my mind alrdy, but i'm so very wrong. I guess the more u want to get some1 out of ur mind, the more u remember it. Can't seem to do anything right today, so many mistakes i've made.
This afternoon was raining damn heavily over here, and the thunder was so damn loud and it was banging non stop. Instead of rushing to close the windows, i just sat on my chair and started to think of her, she's always afraid of the thunder claps, and today's thunder was very very loud. I was worried she would cry hearing it, i was worried will there be any1 around her to calm her down...suddenly all my thoughts were filled with her. Feeling is sooo terrible for me. I tried to divert my attention by relaxing myself playing some games but i just couldnt concentrate on what i'm doing, freaking mistakes i made in the game was something that could not have happened if i was in the right state of my mind.
Feeling so cold now, i wonder if i'm having a fever, there seem to have alot of mosquitoes appearing in my flat recently, could it be dangue? Well i certainly hope so, at least i could leave this world soon without me trying to end my own life due to all these unbearable emotional setbacks.
Just read her blog too, well, from what she wrote there i guess she could only remember so much abt what i've given her, i really somehow felt that i'm just a passerby in her life right now, some1 who is not even worth to remember, miserable is how i'm feeling right now. Already 1 month, and i finally found out my status in her heart for the past 3 yrs. Screw it, i've invested 3 yrs of my life to torture myself in agony for the rest of my life. Investment gone very wrong.
I used to ask ppl why do they pay $4 for a bowl of super spicy dry noodles to torture themselves, and now i have to ask myself why did i spend 3 yrs investing in something which will torture me for the rest of my life?
This afternoon was raining damn heavily over here, and the thunder was so damn loud and it was banging non stop. Instead of rushing to close the windows, i just sat on my chair and started to think of her, she's always afraid of the thunder claps, and today's thunder was very very loud. I was worried she would cry hearing it, i was worried will there be any1 around her to calm her down...suddenly all my thoughts were filled with her. Feeling is sooo terrible for me. I tried to divert my attention by relaxing myself playing some games but i just couldnt concentrate on what i'm doing, freaking mistakes i made in the game was something that could not have happened if i was in the right state of my mind.
Feeling so cold now, i wonder if i'm having a fever, there seem to have alot of mosquitoes appearing in my flat recently, could it be dangue? Well i certainly hope so, at least i could leave this world soon without me trying to end my own life due to all these unbearable emotional setbacks.
Just read her blog too, well, from what she wrote there i guess she could only remember so much abt what i've given her, i really somehow felt that i'm just a passerby in her life right now, some1 who is not even worth to remember, miserable is how i'm feeling right now. Already 1 month, and i finally found out my status in her heart for the past 3 yrs. Screw it, i've invested 3 yrs of my life to torture myself in agony for the rest of my life. Investment gone very wrong.
I used to ask ppl why do they pay $4 for a bowl of super spicy dry noodles to torture themselves, and now i have to ask myself why did i spend 3 yrs investing in something which will torture me for the rest of my life?
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Gary bird day!!!!
Woooo, had a good time today. Its the gay boy's bday!!! It wasnt really a big affair, more like a simple meet up session.
We had "lunch" at Ichiban Sushi at PS, from 2 combined tables, we ended up having 4 tables combined =.= and i was sitting right at the corner inside beside the wall..... its been a long time since i visited that restaurant. Still remembered the 1st day i met her i brought her to Ichiban Boshi for dinner with gary.... same company lol. Food there was great, but i just dont know why when i stepped in that restaurant i couldnt stop thinking abt her... damn it, i wish Andy Lau would really gimme some 望情水... anyway gary cracked up 1 of his broken english jokes today again... when he saw Alex brought a cake for him, he just said, @aiya later after food i will BLOW THE CAKE!!!!!!!!" Wah kao, i only know ppl blow out the candles on the cake but i didnt know he so power can blow the whole cake!!! Took some shots for him while he's blowing his cake and 1 of it looks retarded LOL.
After food we went over to cathy to catch a movie, and while waiting for the show we went to E2Max for some gaming sessions. Guess what, we played CS!!! OMG that was like sooooooo ancient to me liao. Became a free frag today. Well, those guys came up with all sorts of funny nicknames like Mingxiong's nick was My pen is huge, and then the rest started changing to the My pen nick. We had My pen is full on inc, My pen is overflowing with ink, My pen is high quality, and the last 1 i could rmb was My fren Gary has a small pen.. lol
The movie was god damn funny, couldnt stop laughing truout the whole show. there was 1 part where i was trying to swollow my saliva then it was so funny that i burst out laughing spitting out my saliva to the front >< lucky got no1 infront haha. The whole show is abt 2 straight guys getting married pretending to be gays, and it was weiwei who wanted to watch the show, haha and i just kept disturbing him abt him finally admitting that he's gay. I also learnt something from the show, "faggot" is a bad word, and it really hurts ppl who a gay to be called faggots. Sometimes we do need to think of other persons feelings when we call them names, but if its among some friends who are close and they know u dun mean it, its still ok, cos thats the way guys bond. We dont go around calling another guy hey sweetheart like some girls do, we use nicknames as a form of our mutual bondings.
Anyway, pls do remember this, stop calling a gay a faggot. Show them some respect. If u wan some1 to respect u, u gotta respect them 1st. Gonna go bath now. Warcraft later woohooo....
We had "lunch" at Ichiban Sushi at PS, from 2 combined tables, we ended up having 4 tables combined =.= and i was sitting right at the corner inside beside the wall..... its been a long time since i visited that restaurant. Still remembered the 1st day i met her i brought her to Ichiban Boshi for dinner with gary.... same company lol. Food there was great, but i just dont know why when i stepped in that restaurant i couldnt stop thinking abt her... damn it, i wish Andy Lau would really gimme some 望情水... anyway gary cracked up 1 of his broken english jokes today again... when he saw Alex brought a cake for him, he just said, @aiya later after food i will BLOW THE CAKE!!!!!!!!" Wah kao, i only know ppl blow out the candles on the cake but i didnt know he so power can blow the whole cake!!! Took some shots for him while he's blowing his cake and 1 of it looks retarded LOL.
After food we went over to cathy to catch a movie, and while waiting for the show we went to E2Max for some gaming sessions. Guess what, we played CS!!! OMG that was like sooooooo ancient to me liao. Became a free frag today. Well, those guys came up with all sorts of funny nicknames like Mingxiong's nick was My pen is huge, and then the rest started changing to the My pen nick. We had My pen is full on inc, My pen is overflowing with ink, My pen is high quality, and the last 1 i could rmb was My fren Gary has a small pen.. lol
The movie was god damn funny, couldnt stop laughing truout the whole show. there was 1 part where i was trying to swollow my saliva then it was so funny that i burst out laughing spitting out my saliva to the front >< lucky got no1 infront haha. The whole show is abt 2 straight guys getting married pretending to be gays, and it was weiwei who wanted to watch the show, haha and i just kept disturbing him abt him finally admitting that he's gay. I also learnt something from the show, "faggot" is a bad word, and it really hurts ppl who a gay to be called faggots. Sometimes we do need to think of other persons feelings when we call them names, but if its among some friends who are close and they know u dun mean it, its still ok, cos thats the way guys bond. We dont go around calling another guy hey sweetheart like some girls do, we use nicknames as a form of our mutual bondings.
Anyway, pls do remember this, stop calling a gay a faggot. Show them some respect. If u wan some1 to respect u, u gotta respect them 1st. Gonna go bath now. Warcraft later woohooo....
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Gone were the good ol' days.......
Pretty much miss the late teens to early twenties era of my life, that i shld say was the most happening lifestyle of my life. Where shld i start? Well it all have to be when i started to play DDR when it 1st came out, it was when i got damn addicted to it and started knowing ppl from all walks of life who plays this too. And those ppl, are the closest friends to me now. I can say, we have actually gone tru lots of stuffs together, the good and the bad and even the nasty.
They would skip class, tutorials, lesson, work, and some other stuffs and we would just meet up at PS just to hang out. The funny thing is we can even stay overnight outside who the whole nite sia... i wonder what were we actually thinking abt that time =.=.
Clubbing was also 1 of our nite activities. I still rmb the time when we started going Sparks at Taka, so damn happening. We go until there was a period of time, whereever we walked inside sparks, we would see ppl we know. Well, as u shld know fights often occur in clubs or discos, and definately its almost happening every weekend at sparks. We were involved in 1 or 2 of the incidents but it didnt really break out into a fight in the end.
During those days, i was still in the army, and i rmb this particular bday of mine which i was officially introduced to the world of "fun". It was my 20th bday on that day, i remembered going to a pub at boat quay called exclusive. Ah beng pub of that time. and i saw my camp SGT there drinking alone. So i went up chatted abit, and told him it was my bday. Well here comes the big present.... he told me "wahhh last min then tell me i nvr prepare any present for u... but nvm take this ( he passed me a small pack of Marlboros and asked me to go to the toilet to see whats inside. So i went to the toilet with my gay buddy gary to take a peek, it was 4 pills of extacy. woah... i wasnt prepared for this at all and during that time each pill costs around 25-30 bucks and he's giving 4 to me for free... OMG thats around $120 as a present and i'm not really close to him. Well i was a freaking curious yet rebelious kid at that time, so the more i know it breaks the law, the more i'm gonna do it and 2 pills got into my mouth. My lifestyle after that 2 pills changed completely. I started sourcing out for more fun pills, and some other stuffs to go together with it to make the kick last longer. Everything went upside down for me. Couldnt even have a good conversation with my parents and i get irritated easily.
Chup pai kia??? yea of cos i was 1 of those during that time. but i didnt stay for long. cos the group of frds i have are really those that we handle things ourselves together. we dont need those numbers. All we need to know is how to make the other party eat back their own words and there u go, we have every reason to give them a good wallop. and most of the time we would be very agressive in our words. Poly students, and some guys who come from good school who speaks good english ( except for gary even up till now ), it not hard for us to play with their words. Still rmb PS was so call our hangout place. u know like those peninsula kids, well we're more or less like them but in a diff location.
The ridiculous part in our grp is that, some of their gf were being passed around the group like a ball passing from 1 to another. haix guys.... i bet that was damn fun =p cos i wasnt really interested in it.
As our grp grew up, we of cos became more sensible in some ways, each have our own paths to walk, but we still keep in contact once in awhile for a gathering. I really miss those days. Ppl become more sensible after they have gone tru and experience those bad stuffs themselves and eventually will turn out to be a better person. Thats y i always tell myself, if i ever have a son or daughter in future, i wont mind him or her to turn into a rotten apple, cos they will have to know whats it like to be in there in order to learn things the hard way. The more u force a kid to obey, the more rebellious the kid will be, this is a fact and nothing can change this fact. But in my life, i do know of a big kid who's old enough to think yet acts like a kid. Well, i think this kid will have to start taking lessons from now onwards. This is a tough road to take kid, u learn from it, u graduate, u get controlled by it, u're as good as dead. Good luck kiddo.
They would skip class, tutorials, lesson, work, and some other stuffs and we would just meet up at PS just to hang out. The funny thing is we can even stay overnight outside who the whole nite sia... i wonder what were we actually thinking abt that time =.=.
Clubbing was also 1 of our nite activities. I still rmb the time when we started going Sparks at Taka, so damn happening. We go until there was a period of time, whereever we walked inside sparks, we would see ppl we know. Well, as u shld know fights often occur in clubs or discos, and definately its almost happening every weekend at sparks. We were involved in 1 or 2 of the incidents but it didnt really break out into a fight in the end.
During those days, i was still in the army, and i rmb this particular bday of mine which i was officially introduced to the world of "fun". It was my 20th bday on that day, i remembered going to a pub at boat quay called exclusive. Ah beng pub of that time. and i saw my camp SGT there drinking alone. So i went up chatted abit, and told him it was my bday. Well here comes the big present.... he told me "wahhh last min then tell me i nvr prepare any present for u... but nvm take this ( he passed me a small pack of Marlboros and asked me to go to the toilet to see whats inside. So i went to the toilet with my gay buddy gary to take a peek, it was 4 pills of extacy. woah... i wasnt prepared for this at all and during that time each pill costs around 25-30 bucks and he's giving 4 to me for free... OMG thats around $120 as a present and i'm not really close to him. Well i was a freaking curious yet rebelious kid at that time, so the more i know it breaks the law, the more i'm gonna do it and 2 pills got into my mouth. My lifestyle after that 2 pills changed completely. I started sourcing out for more fun pills, and some other stuffs to go together with it to make the kick last longer. Everything went upside down for me. Couldnt even have a good conversation with my parents and i get irritated easily.
Chup pai kia??? yea of cos i was 1 of those during that time. but i didnt stay for long. cos the group of frds i have are really those that we handle things ourselves together. we dont need those numbers. All we need to know is how to make the other party eat back their own words and there u go, we have every reason to give them a good wallop. and most of the time we would be very agressive in our words. Poly students, and some guys who come from good school who speaks good english ( except for gary even up till now ), it not hard for us to play with their words. Still rmb PS was so call our hangout place. u know like those peninsula kids, well we're more or less like them but in a diff location.
The ridiculous part in our grp is that, some of their gf were being passed around the group like a ball passing from 1 to another. haix guys.... i bet that was damn fun =p cos i wasnt really interested in it.
As our grp grew up, we of cos became more sensible in some ways, each have our own paths to walk, but we still keep in contact once in awhile for a gathering. I really miss those days. Ppl become more sensible after they have gone tru and experience those bad stuffs themselves and eventually will turn out to be a better person. Thats y i always tell myself, if i ever have a son or daughter in future, i wont mind him or her to turn into a rotten apple, cos they will have to know whats it like to be in there in order to learn things the hard way. The more u force a kid to obey, the more rebellious the kid will be, this is a fact and nothing can change this fact. But in my life, i do know of a big kid who's old enough to think yet acts like a kid. Well, i think this kid will have to start taking lessons from now onwards. This is a tough road to take kid, u learn from it, u graduate, u get controlled by it, u're as good as dead. Good luck kiddo.
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Healthy lifestyle???
Finally went blading with them, and finally no1 put aeroplane haha. Fun day today had lots of laughs and suaning session.
I was kinda surprise cos weiwei actually went there earlier than our meeting time sia... i told gary must be meet girls there if not he wont so early 1 LOL and i'm right =p. But he damn hum lor always keep his balls at home =.= ask ppl come out nvr go accompany her put her 1 side blade with her frd....
Anyway as usual today gary is our entertainment...he managed to crack up 4 joke lines for each of us to put in our msn to change our nick =x Well i could only remember 2 of them,
1) he was saying to raymond : "Your car put so many SISSY( CC ) for what???
2) How do u pronounce the word "Touting"? and he replied " Touting lor" he said it as eavesdropping =p
Another joke was came up by alex haha this 1 i canot say out, so next time ppl ask me that qns i will cfm execute what the person asked =p.
Time for to go play games liao tata
I was kinda surprise cos weiwei actually went there earlier than our meeting time sia... i told gary must be meet girls there if not he wont so early 1 LOL and i'm right =p. But he damn hum lor always keep his balls at home =.= ask ppl come out nvr go accompany her put her 1 side blade with her frd....
Anyway as usual today gary is our entertainment...he managed to crack up 4 joke lines for each of us to put in our msn to change our nick =x Well i could only remember 2 of them,
1) he was saying to raymond : "Your car put so many SISSY( CC ) for what???
2) How do u pronounce the word "Touting"? and he replied " Touting lor" he said it as eavesdropping =p
Another joke was came up by alex haha this 1 i canot say out, so next time ppl ask me that qns i will cfm execute what the person asked =p.
Time for to go play games liao tata
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Wooo shiok and mad at the same time.....
Been a long time since i had slpt up to so late in the afternoon. Its only 15 after i woke up when i wrote this =D. The feeling damn shiok.
Last nite whole nite rushing GE again.....cos today got maintainence, wahhh i tot maintainence up to 4pm nia but end up just now i check webby today got extended up to 6pm, fark angry. i tot i wake up this time play other games awhile can GE liao but haix they have to do this to me.... somemore my FT pass just activated, kns waste time liao. stupid iah pui.
Nth interesting going on in my life recently, spend time playing lots of GE. Hmm i tot today louis is suppose to wake me up at noon to gout, haha i just checked my fone, he called twice but i nvr hear =x. Well guess wont be going out today. Getting hungry now, still deciding what to eat. Chips or rice =p. I need energy for the lvl rush again tonite, guess i'll go with rice+chips LOLOLOL!!!!!!!!
Last nite whole nite rushing GE again.....cos today got maintainence, wahhh i tot maintainence up to 4pm nia but end up just now i check webby today got extended up to 6pm, fark angry. i tot i wake up this time play other games awhile can GE liao but haix they have to do this to me.... somemore my FT pass just activated, kns waste time liao. stupid iah pui.
Nth interesting going on in my life recently, spend time playing lots of GE. Hmm i tot today louis is suppose to wake me up at noon to gout, haha i just checked my fone, he called twice but i nvr hear =x. Well guess wont be going out today. Getting hungry now, still deciding what to eat. Chips or rice =p. I need energy for the lvl rush again tonite, guess i'll go with rice+chips LOLOLOL!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
1 day no see =D
heh 1 day nvr blog, was too bz ytd le, bz cheonging my GE haha. Anyway life is getting better now. I was shocked today when i woke up and a friend whom we seldom chat with msg me in msn. i tot only the msg was only a hey or sumting like that but end up she was consoling over the matter. wow 感动 sia. Haha i kinda envy her bf, so unlomantic and toot she also will stick by him for so long without complains, 好幸福喔。
Anyway nth much interesting to update here also. No good nice songs worth puttong up here too. I'm still waiting for some1 to lend me weilian's new album haha. Ok le nth to write le, Just wana thx to all my frds who cared abt me during this time, don't worry i'm getting better now. I wont fall just becos of a tree =D theres a whole freaking forest out there for me to chop leh~~
Anyway nth much interesting to update here also. No good nice songs worth puttong up here too. I'm still waiting for some1 to lend me weilian's new album haha. Ok le nth to write le, Just wana thx to all my frds who cared abt me during this time, don't worry i'm getting better now. I wont fall just becos of a tree =D theres a whole freaking forest out there for me to chop leh~~
Monday, September 10, 2007
Cold morning.....
It was really cold this morning cos outside was raining heavily. I can feel my life is slowly going back to normal now, cos today when i woke up the 1st thing i thought of wasnt her but my afk charecters in GE LOL. Well thats a good start i guess. Gotta catch up some lvls fast if not i'll probably miss out a number of colony wars.
Anyway making myself some breakfast now, didnt know what to eat haha so just toast some bread with butter and munch for the time being. myb later then cook noodles =D Last day to play the whole day. tmr will be starting work le.
Ok le dun talk liao my bread is done. Cya when i cya the next time =D
Anyway making myself some breakfast now, didnt know what to eat haha so just toast some bread with butter and munch for the time being. myb later then cook noodles =D Last day to play the whole day. tmr will be starting work le.
Ok le dun talk liao my bread is done. Cya when i cya the next time =D
Wooo so late then come update =p
Well 1+ am le, today damn sian, kena dua by weiwei, wake up see his msg say he lao sai.... then quickly called up ah gay and end up he also nvr go, so if i go means its me and their frd qingxiang.... me and her not close so i decided not to go also... stayed at home whole day lvl-ing in GE, piangz 12 hours only 10 lvls sia... shag liao.
Tmr another boring day. Guess whole day will be in GE again. At least now i've found something that keeps my mind from thinking abt her. Time really fly pass fast, and b4 i noticed, it was alrdy so late. been almost 2 weeks of my life without her alrdy, i guess altho i can't get used to it, but i will still have to eventually, I really do not wish to have anymroe nitemares in future, getting traumatic LOL. Anyway i just came in to blog for awhile, going back to GE now. CHEONG AH!!!!
Tmr another boring day. Guess whole day will be in GE again. At least now i've found something that keeps my mind from thinking abt her. Time really fly pass fast, and b4 i noticed, it was alrdy so late. been almost 2 weeks of my life without her alrdy, i guess altho i can't get used to it, but i will still have to eventually, I really do not wish to have anymroe nitemares in future, getting traumatic LOL. Anyway i just came in to blog for awhile, going back to GE now. CHEONG AH!!!!
Sunday, September 9, 2007
Phobia....
After that nightmare yesterday, i spent my whole day in daze.....been thinking over and over again, will i ever trust another woman again? Up to now i still cant convince myself that there might be exceptions.... I really think i wont be able to trust another woman ever in my remaining years.
Anyway, I've finally got back my old room today. Spend the whole evening moving the stuffs. Tmr will be going blading with my buddies at ECP. Hope i'll be able to enjoy myself. Supposed to meet at 1pm but they're the usual late kakis, so i guess i'll leave home at 1pm ba LOL.
Anyway its late now, time to slp alrdy. Tmr after blading will come back and update the blog again.
Anyway, I've finally got back my old room today. Spend the whole evening moving the stuffs. Tmr will be going blading with my buddies at ECP. Hope i'll be able to enjoy myself. Supposed to meet at 1pm but they're the usual late kakis, so i guess i'll leave home at 1pm ba LOL.
Anyway its late now, time to slp alrdy. Tmr after blading will come back and update the blog again.
Saturday, September 8, 2007
Nightmare.....
Didnt expect myself to have a nightmare so soon. Really jerk me out of bed and its not even 10am when i was woken up by that dream.... i guess i'm really scarred by what happened until i canot easily forget it.
Well, i dreamt of her again, but to cut short the whole dream, i dreamt of her still lying to me that she's still with another guy when we got back together. Really dont know what do to sia, i didnt know when a person is hurt so deeply, he/she will get nightmares of the incident that happened...... i thought this only happens in dramas or movies. I guess in real life this does happens too. Anyway, i do not wish to think so much abt it liao. Its just too scary to even think....
I'm gonna go play GE now, hope everything will be better later in the day ba.
Well, i dreamt of her again, but to cut short the whole dream, i dreamt of her still lying to me that she's still with another guy when we got back together. Really dont know what do to sia, i didnt know when a person is hurt so deeply, he/she will get nightmares of the incident that happened...... i thought this only happens in dramas or movies. I guess in real life this does happens too. Anyway, i do not wish to think so much abt it liao. Its just too scary to even think....
I'm gonna go play GE now, hope everything will be better later in the day ba.
Suayness to the max......
3 mths free my @ss..... log in nia say my account not charged..... see liao sian 1/2.
Wasted 1 whole day to d/l now this kind of thing happen wah lao how suay can a person be????????????
This is boring sia... nth to do now liao. shld i go play with the blog's html? freaking blur lor see all those commands =.=.
Anyway forget it ba, seems like i'm just not fated to play GE.
Wasted 1 whole day to d/l now this kind of thing happen wah lao how suay can a person be????????????
This is boring sia... nth to do now liao. shld i go play with the blog's html? freaking blur lor see all those commands =.=.
Anyway forget it ba, seems like i'm just not fated to play GE.
Friday, September 7, 2007
Arghhh pek chek to the max ah......
Been trying to d/l GE since 1pm today, made 5 attempts to do so, and all 5 times the d/l just hang somewhere in the middle... kaoz, isit really that hard to even wana join my frds in a game?
Stupid HP DVD writer la, canot read DVD disc 1. Grrrr, HP products crappy sia.
Making my 6th attempt now alrdy 10% done.... wish me luck sia, 90% more to go... flashget 加油, u are my most reliable d/l accelerator so far. pls dont fail me~~~~~
Been training my 7 Keys just now... play until hand cramp liao, Funny thing is, i dun understand y i can pass V normal 7key at home but go arcade sure fail ... kns pui, impossible lor, everything is the same leh... need more training...
So boring at home now, watch tv also no gd programs, use pc also like sian 1/2. just wana faster log in GE and play now. Hmmm shld i go to the game convention again =p i bet Saturday and Sunday shld have more babes lor, especially the models muahahahaha. Myb shld start to jio ppl liao ba. Any1 interested?
Stupid HP DVD writer la, canot read DVD disc 1. Grrrr, HP products crappy sia.
Making my 6th attempt now alrdy 10% done.... wish me luck sia, 90% more to go... flashget 加油, u are my most reliable d/l accelerator so far. pls dont fail me~~~~~
Been training my 7 Keys just now... play until hand cramp liao, Funny thing is, i dun understand y i can pass V normal 7key at home but go arcade sure fail ... kns pui, impossible lor, everything is the same leh... need more training...
So boring at home now, watch tv also no gd programs, use pc also like sian 1/2. just wana faster log in GE and play now. Hmmm shld i go to the game convention again =p i bet Saturday and Sunday shld have more babes lor, especially the models muahahahaha. Myb shld start to jio ppl liao ba. Any1 interested?
Specially for my guardian angel somewhere out there.
I'm in the process of growing up and standing back on my feet. 1 yr later, i will go in search for u no matter which corner of the world u are at. For all i know, u could be a japanese, american, or myb even afghanistan... who cares? LOL
1 yr later I'll be out on my journey again, this time, i'll make sure i'll be able to be an almost perfect partner to u. For now I'm still in the healing process and learning to stand on my own feet. Would u wait for me to come pick u up?
I'll try to be as romantic as i could when i think i'm ready to come looking for ya. For the time being, just hope u will be able to take good care of urself ba.
1 yr later I'll be out on my journey again, this time, i'll make sure i'll be able to be an almost perfect partner to u. For now I'm still in the healing process and learning to stand on my own feet. Would u wait for me to come pick u up?
I'll try to be as romantic as i could when i think i'm ready to come looking for ya. For the time being, just hope u will be able to take good care of urself ba.
As Usual.....
Duno y nowadays no matter how late i slp i still wake up around this time. Sian, wana slp longer also canot. Anyway, today will be buying GE installer CD and join Louis and Henry in GE until RO2 is out.
I hope my free 3 mths subscription is still valid ba. If not got to waste money again on the subscription liao. Well time to go wash up abit and go buy the cd le.
Ciao~
I hope my free 3 mths subscription is still valid ba. If not got to waste money again on the subscription liao. Well time to go wash up abit and go buy the cd le.
Ciao~
Playlist update
Those who have been following my blog might be curious how come my blog got Mayday and Stephenie sun's song ba, muahaha i used to dislike stephenie sun de, but this song i put here really very nice. I have also removed the Ekin song, too short liao, hear liao also not shiok hahaha. I think my playlist will be updated very often now. Only will post nice songs here, so if u wana know some good songs, do come back everyday and see if theres a surpirse waiting for u =)
Btw the song that john sang is a canto song, I've alrdy placed the control panel for the music player so u can just skip to the song which has the piano intro to listen to the song.
Btw the song that john sang is a canto song, I've alrdy placed the control panel for the music player so u can just skip to the song which has the piano intro to listen to the song.
This is the song John sang. Very nice.
耿耿于怀---麦浚龙
你最近还好吗?尚爱看少女漫画吗?
最近近乎没露面你有新对象吗?
真想带你见见我刚识到的她
我想听你意见这算是病吧?
为何无论我愿意怎样试
怎样也不可一样爱慕她?
难道没练习太耐感觉都追不回来
试图再努力爱也显得不自在
不懂得如何谈恋爱
还是我太爱你对过去太放不开
难道是寂寞太耐生锈的锁不能开
钥匙也折断了留在旧患所在
怀内难怪跟谁也再没法恋爱
我有时仍很怕路过你那从前的家
往事若然未落幕再揭起有害吗?
真想带你见见我刚识到的她
我想听你意见这算是病吧?
为何无论我愿意怎样试
怎样也没令自己恋上她
难道没练习太耐感觉都追不回来
试图再努力爱也显得不自在
不懂得如何谈恋爱
还是我太爱你对过去太放不开
难道是寂寞太耐生锈的锁不能开
钥匙也折断了留在旧患所在
怀内放满对你的爱
难怪跟谁也再没法恋爱
难道没练习太耐感觉都追不回来
试图再努力爱也显得不自在
耿耿于怀从前的爱
从没有振作过痛了再痛也应该
难道是寂寞太耐生锈的锁不能开
往事却似断箭还剩下在体内
若怀内放满对你的爱
害怕一直也再没法恋爱
你最近还好吗?尚爱看少女漫画吗?
最近近乎没露面你有新对象吗?
真想带你见见我刚识到的她
我想听你意见这算是病吧?
为何无论我愿意怎样试
怎样也不可一样爱慕她?
难道没练习太耐感觉都追不回来
试图再努力爱也显得不自在
不懂得如何谈恋爱
还是我太爱你对过去太放不开
难道是寂寞太耐生锈的锁不能开
钥匙也折断了留在旧患所在
怀内难怪跟谁也再没法恋爱
我有时仍很怕路过你那从前的家
往事若然未落幕再揭起有害吗?
真想带你见见我刚识到的她
我想听你意见这算是病吧?
为何无论我愿意怎样试
怎样也没令自己恋上她
难道没练习太耐感觉都追不回来
试图再努力爱也显得不自在
不懂得如何谈恋爱
还是我太爱你对过去太放不开
难道是寂寞太耐生锈的锁不能开
钥匙也折断了留在旧患所在
怀内放满对你的爱
难怪跟谁也再没法恋爱
难道没练习太耐感觉都追不回来
试图再努力爱也显得不自在
耿耿于怀从前的爱
从没有振作过痛了再痛也应该
难道是寂寞太耐生锈的锁不能开
往事却似断箭还剩下在体内
若怀内放满对你的爱
害怕一直也再没法恋爱
OMG 1st time after the past week i laughed like a mad man
Woah... today was a good day, been a long time since i hang out with the jokers liao. Remeber me saying i was meeting louis and henry for the food fair at suntec? Well the food fair simply sux!! Louis and me came up with a conclusion, the food found at the food fair is simply pasar malam food with the prices jacked up. Nothing much there to eat also. 100% lose to the food convention at expo previously.
Lucky thing there was a game convention going on, the moment we stepped in, muahahaha it felt like walking in heaven. I was anxiously looking for the RO2 booth but find so damn long also canot find. then we came up to this booth with soooooo many chio bu wahh me and louis see until jaw drop. Both of us were discussing which of the models are better looking, end up both our tastes are the same. He damn hum lor, i ask him use his HP help me take foto of them 1st but he scared serene see and scold him zzzzzzzz. Humster leh. Then at the Trickster booth, saw 2 models dressed as cats lol got 1 the sports bra same as my polo T colour, somemore her hot pants wooooo.... we kept walking around that 2 booths for quite sometime b4 we actually decided to go eat our breakfast, lunch and dinner LOL.
The food part is scary lor, we went to Sakae sushi for the lunch buffet at 5.15pm and the last order is like 5.30pm lol imagine we got only 15 mins to order our food. When we settle down i asked louis to order but he wanted me to do it instead, so ok lor, since he let me take order then i sure mass order 1 lor. He was boasting to Henry abt the food come and 5 secs later sure finish and we have to wait for the next plate of food, but it ended up the other way round. All the food come alomst at 1 shot, muahahah we were like 1st few plates speed eating, then when it comes to the 2nd half of the food, we started to force ourselves to eat liao LOLOLOLOL. Henry was still mocking louis abt how weak he was somemore still can boast. Muahaha, after we canot eat anymore, we asked for the bill, wahh when we go pay we have to pay a wastage surcharge of $19 sia. But the manager was good enough to let us take away the xtra food. Me and louis had enough of sushi for today, so the food ended up with Henry who didnt eat.
Oh i forgot 1 thing, while in the midst of eating, henry and I went out for a smoke, and he was telling me he actually read my blog this morning, haha i was shocked sia cos i tot he will be playing his GE, but ended up he say GE svr maintainence thats y he nth to do read my blog . Then he asked me if i am going to keep my blog for long and update it everyday. Well I've been doing that now, so i guess i'll continue to update it in future too, i scared next time old liao get forgetful, and i wont remeber all these things that happened. As we were talking abt the blog, he told me casually that he thought of starting a blog too, and the contents is abt SHIT!!!! LOL
It kinda crappy but damn funny in a way, he was telling me this " My blog : Day 1 Damn, no shit today. Comments : Nice, u'll need prune juice. Day 2 : Still no shit, i think i need more prune juice. Day 3 : woah had a good shit today, and he posts a pic of his shit in the blog >.<" the thought of this is just gross lor. But we were laughing like madman from outside sakae till we got seated back down in the restaurant. Then i told him, imagine a guy reading ur blog and talking to his GF abt what to have for dinner later, and he sees ur pile of shit, he might just tell his GF " Eh dear, i got no appetite to eat liao." and he goes to the toilet and throw up LOL.
Anyway back to our scene in Sakae. While we were eating, those 2 jokers cant stop cracking jokes and they made me spit out my food LOL both of them kena, and louis was like cursing lor.
Henry even came up an idea. The next time any of our guy frds wana break up with their ONS partner, bring them to Sakae sushi with me and henry along, so while i eat henry can crack joke to make me laugh and i spit at the girl. =p Sure make the girl damn pissed off hahaha.
After food, both me and louis almost couldnt walk, he kept telling me his water bag is bursting lol. that only happens to pregnant woman lor. But i felt the same way too. whats worse, i was so thirsty but yet i cant force myself to drink anything sia. too full liao. We waited for Mingxiong to come meet us after his work, and rit eafter he came i asked him to pass me his lemon tea for a sip, and it happened again LOL, I forgot what louis said that made me spit out the drink at Mingxiong, LOL thats 2 times within 2 hours. Duno y today so easy to laugh. Well we went to bugis after that, and as usual, Louis and Mingxiong at the beatmania 2DX 14th style machine showing off. But i must admit they are good, i could never play like them haha myb old liao ba.
time then was abt 7.30pm, and we were supposed to meet des at party world shenton at 8pm. but as usual, des says he will be late, so ok lor i expected his late to be like around 8.30, but up to 8.45 we are still waiting for him outside party world =.= he is super late. Both of us went in to get a room 1st and wait for him, wow u know what time he came in? 9.15pm sia, late for 1 hour 15 mins =.=. next time meet him must be later than him liao =x
Initially, there were only Des, his gf kelly, louis and me, after i went out for a smoke they told me Yupeng and John is coming, wow its been quite sometime since i last met the 2 of them, they have not changed much, but i didnt know yupeng sing that well. i was kinda taken aback when i heard her sing sia. Today in the KTV i did something that i have not done for a very very long time. They ask me to 点歌, so i started browsing the male singers, i ended up at Jay Chow's page hahahaha, those who went KTV with me b4 shld know what happened next. After i closed the Jay Chow's song list, i have alrdy selected 4 pages of Jay's songs, muahahaha it was damn scary.
Throughout the whole KTV , we were laughing and joking non stop. Happening nite. Its really been a long time since i enjoyed myself so much. I only happened to emo for around 1-2 mins when i was singing Gary's 背叛. After that song i was back to normal again. Guess it was wrong to choose that song ba, but canot leh, i go ktv cfm will sing that song de, so nice....
In the midst of the ktv session, my mum's frd called me up and tell me my mum locked herself out of her room, i was like WTF!!! how did she do that? but then i was told not to worry cos some1 is alrdy rushing to my house to help her. After my fone call louis was asking me, who's Derrick ( the person who called)? i told him it was my mum's frd, and my mum used MSN to ask his frd to call me cos her fone also in the locked room. Wahh when Louis knows my mum uses MSN he was like, RESPECT! LOL i guess my mum really damn modern ba. All of them were saying their mum doesnt even know how to use the computer, yet my mum even knows how to MSN lor. I was so damn proud at that time sia.
End of the day, des drove me home even tho its not very convenient cos by rite his home is nearer to shenton. He is 1 good bro i have who will never be so 计较 with me 1. although sometimes the way he tell me things like very 计较 but i can tell his only joking. Reached home at around 1+ am, and my mum was calling the locksmith at that time to come unlock her room door, wow it costs $70 to do it sia. so expensive.
Did the usual stuffs, bath and log in MSN, i was kinda surprised to see Gin still logged in MSN cos she shld be working tmr and she's still up so late. chatted with her for awhile while i was updating my blog. Hmm glad to know she enjoys reading my blog ba, the reason for me to start this blog initially was for her, but now i find blogging kinda interesting myself LOL. Used to think blogging is a waste of time, but now blogging has become a part of my daily routine le. I guess its good to trash out my emotions somewhere rather than keeping them to myself.
And here i am blogging this whole long story, i hope i did not bore u guys =p , gonna do some updating to my music playlist for my blog now, John just intro a very nice canto song for me. Will try to find the lyrics to put here for u guys to read.
Cya tmr ;)
PS : Those of u who are waiting for RO2 Eng, heres the news i got from the convention. It will be released early 2008, Company that will be hosting it will be Asiasoft, the company that brought u MapleSEA and AuditionSEA. Very stable server and reliable company. I'll be looking forward to it.
Lucky thing there was a game convention going on, the moment we stepped in, muahahaha it felt like walking in heaven. I was anxiously looking for the RO2 booth but find so damn long also canot find. then we came up to this booth with soooooo many chio bu wahh me and louis see until jaw drop. Both of us were discussing which of the models are better looking, end up both our tastes are the same. He damn hum lor, i ask him use his HP help me take foto of them 1st but he scared serene see and scold him zzzzzzzz. Humster leh. Then at the Trickster booth, saw 2 models dressed as cats lol got 1 the sports bra same as my polo T colour, somemore her hot pants wooooo.... we kept walking around that 2 booths for quite sometime b4 we actually decided to go eat our breakfast, lunch and dinner LOL.
The food part is scary lor, we went to Sakae sushi for the lunch buffet at 5.15pm and the last order is like 5.30pm lol imagine we got only 15 mins to order our food. When we settle down i asked louis to order but he wanted me to do it instead, so ok lor, since he let me take order then i sure mass order 1 lor. He was boasting to Henry abt the food come and 5 secs later sure finish and we have to wait for the next plate of food, but it ended up the other way round. All the food come alomst at 1 shot, muahahah we were like 1st few plates speed eating, then when it comes to the 2nd half of the food, we started to force ourselves to eat liao LOLOLOLOL. Henry was still mocking louis abt how weak he was somemore still can boast. Muahaha, after we canot eat anymore, we asked for the bill, wahh when we go pay we have to pay a wastage surcharge of $19 sia. But the manager was good enough to let us take away the xtra food. Me and louis had enough of sushi for today, so the food ended up with Henry who didnt eat.
Oh i forgot 1 thing, while in the midst of eating, henry and I went out for a smoke, and he was telling me he actually read my blog this morning, haha i was shocked sia cos i tot he will be playing his GE, but ended up he say GE svr maintainence thats y he nth to do read my blog . Then he asked me if i am going to keep my blog for long and update it everyday. Well I've been doing that now, so i guess i'll continue to update it in future too, i scared next time old liao get forgetful, and i wont remeber all these things that happened. As we were talking abt the blog, he told me casually that he thought of starting a blog too, and the contents is abt SHIT!!!! LOL
It kinda crappy but damn funny in a way, he was telling me this " My blog : Day 1 Damn, no shit today. Comments : Nice, u'll need prune juice. Day 2 : Still no shit, i think i need more prune juice. Day 3 : woah had a good shit today, and he posts a pic of his shit in the blog >.<" the thought of this is just gross lor. But we were laughing like madman from outside sakae till we got seated back down in the restaurant. Then i told him, imagine a guy reading ur blog and talking to his GF abt what to have for dinner later, and he sees ur pile of shit, he might just tell his GF " Eh dear, i got no appetite to eat liao." and he goes to the toilet and throw up LOL.
Anyway back to our scene in Sakae. While we were eating, those 2 jokers cant stop cracking jokes and they made me spit out my food LOL both of them kena, and louis was like cursing lor.
Henry even came up an idea. The next time any of our guy frds wana break up with their ONS partner, bring them to Sakae sushi with me and henry along, so while i eat henry can crack joke to make me laugh and i spit at the girl. =p Sure make the girl damn pissed off hahaha.
After food, both me and louis almost couldnt walk, he kept telling me his water bag is bursting lol. that only happens to pregnant woman lor. But i felt the same way too. whats worse, i was so thirsty but yet i cant force myself to drink anything sia. too full liao. We waited for Mingxiong to come meet us after his work, and rit eafter he came i asked him to pass me his lemon tea for a sip, and it happened again LOL, I forgot what louis said that made me spit out the drink at Mingxiong, LOL thats 2 times within 2 hours. Duno y today so easy to laugh. Well we went to bugis after that, and as usual, Louis and Mingxiong at the beatmania 2DX 14th style machine showing off. But i must admit they are good, i could never play like them haha myb old liao ba.
time then was abt 7.30pm, and we were supposed to meet des at party world shenton at 8pm. but as usual, des says he will be late, so ok lor i expected his late to be like around 8.30, but up to 8.45 we are still waiting for him outside party world =.= he is super late. Both of us went in to get a room 1st and wait for him, wow u know what time he came in? 9.15pm sia, late for 1 hour 15 mins =.=. next time meet him must be later than him liao =x
Initially, there were only Des, his gf kelly, louis and me, after i went out for a smoke they told me Yupeng and John is coming, wow its been quite sometime since i last met the 2 of them, they have not changed much, but i didnt know yupeng sing that well. i was kinda taken aback when i heard her sing sia. Today in the KTV i did something that i have not done for a very very long time. They ask me to 点歌, so i started browsing the male singers, i ended up at Jay Chow's page hahahaha, those who went KTV with me b4 shld know what happened next. After i closed the Jay Chow's song list, i have alrdy selected 4 pages of Jay's songs, muahahaha it was damn scary.
Throughout the whole KTV , we were laughing and joking non stop. Happening nite. Its really been a long time since i enjoyed myself so much. I only happened to emo for around 1-2 mins when i was singing Gary's 背叛. After that song i was back to normal again. Guess it was wrong to choose that song ba, but canot leh, i go ktv cfm will sing that song de, so nice....
In the midst of the ktv session, my mum's frd called me up and tell me my mum locked herself out of her room, i was like WTF!!! how did she do that? but then i was told not to worry cos some1 is alrdy rushing to my house to help her. After my fone call louis was asking me, who's Derrick ( the person who called)? i told him it was my mum's frd, and my mum used MSN to ask his frd to call me cos her fone also in the locked room. Wahh when Louis knows my mum uses MSN he was like, RESPECT! LOL i guess my mum really damn modern ba. All of them were saying their mum doesnt even know how to use the computer, yet my mum even knows how to MSN lor. I was so damn proud at that time sia.
End of the day, des drove me home even tho its not very convenient cos by rite his home is nearer to shenton. He is 1 good bro i have who will never be so 计较 with me 1. although sometimes the way he tell me things like very 计较 but i can tell his only joking. Reached home at around 1+ am, and my mum was calling the locksmith at that time to come unlock her room door, wow it costs $70 to do it sia. so expensive.
Did the usual stuffs, bath and log in MSN, i was kinda surprised to see Gin still logged in MSN cos she shld be working tmr and she's still up so late. chatted with her for awhile while i was updating my blog. Hmm glad to know she enjoys reading my blog ba, the reason for me to start this blog initially was for her, but now i find blogging kinda interesting myself LOL. Used to think blogging is a waste of time, but now blogging has become a part of my daily routine le. I guess its good to trash out my emotions somewhere rather than keeping them to myself.
And here i am blogging this whole long story, i hope i did not bore u guys =p , gonna do some updating to my music playlist for my blog now, John just intro a very nice canto song for me. Will try to find the lyrics to put here for u guys to read.
Cya tmr ;)
PS : Those of u who are waiting for RO2 Eng, heres the news i got from the convention. It will be released early 2008, Company that will be hosting it will be Asiasoft, the company that brought u MapleSEA and AuditionSEA. Very stable server and reliable company. I'll be looking forward to it.
Thursday, September 6, 2007
Suddenly remebered....
Saw the sad puppy pic, its just suddenly reminds me when she always says i must be a husky in my previous life. That puppy picture could be what i look like in my previous life when i'm sad.
Finished a few stuffs on my blog now waiting to go out to meet louis and henry. Haix Life sux, but without life, i wouldnt even be here. Y are there always 2 sides to something. I'm already learning to see things both ways now. Better stop being such an MCP lol.
Well got to go get prepared now... Cya when i cya ;)
Finished a few stuffs on my blog now waiting to go out to meet louis and henry. Haix Life sux, but without life, i wouldnt even be here. Y are there always 2 sides to something. I'm already learning to see things both ways now. Better stop being such an MCP lol.
Well got to go get prepared now... Cya when i cya ;)
Wtf Y am i so suay.....
Last nite play with the blog until quite late, i think up to around 5am+ then i go slp. Took me quite awhile to fall aslp..... Then all of a sudden......bang bang bang bang bang......i woke up and found out its already 10.30am, i could have slpt longer if it wasnt for the "orchestra group" from the funeral downstairs holding their concert early in the morning.
Anyway, new day today but i'm having the same mood i was having for the past week, nothing is improving i guess. 1 good thing is i'll be able to start work next week. Hope by then, work will be able to keep my mind occupied from this agony.
Haha i actually liked my blog site now, the music actually tells u the stages in my marraige, i sang her the Ekin Cheng's song on our ROM nite and a pledge of my love for her, then i got betrayed, and now i finally realised it was my fault but its too late to do anything abt it....3 songs to describe the 3 yrs marraige.
Ah lu wun be up so early cos i heard from henry he slpt around 6am+ too. He's lucky he doesnt have an orchestra concert playing near his house, so i guess it'll be quite sometime b4 he wakes up...
Hmm, 2 more strands of white hair, i really have to go dye my hair soon, if not my whole head will soon become white. Most likely to do that next month ba.
闷，烦， 无奈， 空虚， 现在用这几个字来型容我最恰当。 突然生命里不见了一些东西， 对一个人来说， 是很难式应的一件事。 不知我何时才能够恢复那开心的我。 也许这一生都不会吧。 作天看到我朋友的Msn nick 写了这句话 “命里有时终需有，命里无时莫强求。” 这句话果然说的没错。失去的东西无论你如何得强求， 不是你的终归不是你的， 不管你如何去改， 如何去做， 也是不会有结果。 竟然是这样的话， 到不如把生命乘下的时间都投资在一些更有意义的东西。 一切就让他随风儿来， 也就让他随风儿去吧。 我相信在不久的将来， 我的生活会更加精彩。希望我不会永远都为了这件事儿没勇气去开始一段新的恋情吧。
我的守护天使你到底在那里？ 在我最需要你的时候， 你却偷偷跑了去玩，丢下我一个人不管了。 你是要我学习一个人成长是吗？ 你别坦心， 我不会辜负你对我的期望的， 我一定能重新的站起来。 当我做到以后， 你可一定要回来我身边喔。
今天暂时就写道这里， 晚一些如果有事要记录下来的， 我就会回来写。 拜拜咯。
Anyway, new day today but i'm having the same mood i was having for the past week, nothing is improving i guess. 1 good thing is i'll be able to start work next week. Hope by then, work will be able to keep my mind occupied from this agony.
Haha i actually liked my blog site now, the music actually tells u the stages in my marraige, i sang her the Ekin Cheng's song on our ROM nite and a pledge of my love for her, then i got betrayed, and now i finally realised it was my fault but its too late to do anything abt it....3 songs to describe the 3 yrs marraige.
Ah lu wun be up so early cos i heard from henry he slpt around 6am+ too. He's lucky he doesnt have an orchestra concert playing near his house, so i guess it'll be quite sometime b4 he wakes up...
Hmm, 2 more strands of white hair, i really have to go dye my hair soon, if not my whole head will soon become white. Most likely to do that next month ba.
闷，烦， 无奈， 空虚， 现在用这几个字来型容我最恰当。 突然生命里不见了一些东西， 对一个人来说， 是很难式应的一件事。 不知我何时才能够恢复那开心的我。 也许这一生都不会吧。 作天看到我朋友的Msn nick 写了这句话 “命里有时终需有，命里无时莫强求。” 这句话果然说的没错。失去的东西无论你如何得强求， 不是你的终归不是你的， 不管你如何去改， 如何去做， 也是不会有结果。 竟然是这样的话， 到不如把生命乘下的时间都投资在一些更有意义的东西。 一切就让他随风儿来， 也就让他随风儿去吧。 我相信在不久的将来， 我的生活会更加精彩。希望我不会永远都为了这件事儿没勇气去开始一段新的恋情吧。
我的守护天使你到底在那里？ 在我最需要你的时候， 你却偷偷跑了去玩，丢下我一个人不管了。 你是要我学习一个人成长是吗？ 你别坦心， 我不会辜负你对我的期望的， 我一定能重新的站起来。 当我做到以后， 你可一定要回来我身边喔。
今天暂时就写道这里， 晚一些如果有事要记录下来的， 我就会回来写。 拜拜咯。
Fits perfectly into the story.
大男人·小女孩
不是我的错我们都听过
完美的时候要更多
找这时候说的太多
有时候的我
只想和你一样沉默
不想单单罗罗嗦嗦
水也灭不掉的火
也许大男人真的很男人 (也许大男人没那么男人)
少了点风度还是不承认
有时候错的并不知道错的
不想借口只是直接一天说
有时候女孩没那么小孩
心里的无奈也需要点关怀
遗憾的遗留变成勉强了
怎么能重新再来
不是我的错我们都听过
完美的时候要更多
找这时候说的太多
有时候的我
只想和你一样沉默
不想单单罗罗嗦嗦
水也灭不掉的火
也许大男人真的很男人 (也许大男人没那么男人)
少了点风度还是不承认
有时候错的并不知道错的
不想借口只是直接一天说
有时候女孩没那么小孩
心里的无奈也需要点关怀
遗憾的遗留变成勉强了
怎么能重新再来
Laughing at myself
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
I already know I wont be able to take it when I go back my own ways. But i think in a breakup, 1 party will have to take the blame ba. I just hope by taking this blame she will be able to move on to a better life. I'll be praying for her to meet a better guy soon so she can start afresh and forget this ungrateful brat here.
Nasty words said, its does hurt me to say those words when i dont really mean it too. Thats the only way i can think of to let her hate me totally. Boredom is killing me. Suddenly my life has got no more meaning to carry on, have to find something exciting to do soon.
Tmr will be another new day, going to the food fair with louis, it'll probably be just a temporary form of killing my time. I dont really have the habit to emo at ktvs lets see if tmr nite's ktv will have any effect on me.
Went up to her office just now to pass back the house keys, the moment i saw her, i really feel like running up to her and hug her, but since i chose to leave i have to just treat her as an enemy. i dare not look into her eyes just now cos i'm afraid i cant control myself to continue with the act. I bet I've really managed to make her hate me this time. No more dragging on. Sad on 1 hand that I might nvr be able to see her again, happy on the other hand that she might be better off without me and some1 better might just come to her.
Duno what to do now, no mood for any games, watch tv like staring blankly at the screen, smoke also smoke less than 3 puffs on a single stick then no more liao. Wana go out but duno where to go. I really wonder when i'll be able to stop breathing and leave peacefully. Or myb some1 could give me a helping hand in that? better not, if not u'll be charged for murder lol.
During our marraige preparation course, we were asked to write each other's good points and bad points out and see which 1 do we see most in our partner, and as expected its the bad points. Its only until a breakup then i could see her good points.
1) She's very caring towards her partner giving him all the attention he needs whenever he feels down.
2) She a hardworking woman, may it be at work or at home. She does the housework with no complains.
3) Many times she will bring home something her husband likes and give him as a surprise.
4) Although shes not hungry, she'll still accompany her husband to eat. She'll even say she like to see her husband eat cos it really looks like he's enjoying the food.
5) If she knows her husband needs something, she will try her very best to help out.
6) Whenever she goes out with her husband and his friends, she will always spare a thought for his "face". Giving him the respects he needed in front of his friends cos she says all guys want "face" she's only doing her part as a wife.
7) She a good host at home when her husband's friends come over. Always offering to help them do something like pouring drinks and bringing in chips even when she's told to rest and let the others self service.
8) She keeps secrets for her husband very well.
9) Occasionally, she will call her husband during work and ask if he has eaten anything or not. but usually this will end up her hanging the fone feeling sad cos her husband will somehow or another scold her or ignore her over the fone.
10) When her husband cant slp at nite she'll accompany him to chat until he's aslp. If she's too tired she'll just let him talk until she slps lol.
11) She will make an effort to join her husband to do whatever he's doing at that point of time, but usually she'll be left alone.
12) During weekends when she wakes up early and her husband is still slping, she'll go down to buy him breakfast.
13) when her husband is very sick, she'll take leave to come home look after him and bring him to the doc.
14) She rather eat lesser rice at home and let her husband have more cos she scared he gets hungry at nite.
All these good points in a single woman, where on earth can u find such wife? Shld any other guy managed to make her ur wife, pls do cherish her. Don't make her sad like what i did to her.
From initial stage where i cant even write out 1 good point abt her until the break up stage i can now list out 14 of them. Its really true that a person will only start to cherish what he has lost.
过去的一切已成回忆，为一能做的就是把这回忆永远保留在心里。偶尔回想起来会很甜美。苦涩的一段感情就像咖啡，又苦又甜的感觉让人无法入眠。
I already know I wont be able to take it when I go back my own ways. But i think in a breakup, 1 party will have to take the blame ba. I just hope by taking this blame she will be able to move on to a better life. I'll be praying for her to meet a better guy soon so she can start afresh and forget this ungrateful brat here.
Nasty words said, its does hurt me to say those words when i dont really mean it too. Thats the only way i can think of to let her hate me totally. Boredom is killing me. Suddenly my life has got no more meaning to carry on, have to find something exciting to do soon.
Tmr will be another new day, going to the food fair with louis, it'll probably be just a temporary form of killing my time. I dont really have the habit to emo at ktvs lets see if tmr nite's ktv will have any effect on me.
Went up to her office just now to pass back the house keys, the moment i saw her, i really feel like running up to her and hug her, but since i chose to leave i have to just treat her as an enemy. i dare not look into her eyes just now cos i'm afraid i cant control myself to continue with the act. I bet I've really managed to make her hate me this time. No more dragging on. Sad on 1 hand that I might nvr be able to see her again, happy on the other hand that she might be better off without me and some1 better might just come to her.
Duno what to do now, no mood for any games, watch tv like staring blankly at the screen, smoke also smoke less than 3 puffs on a single stick then no more liao. Wana go out but duno where to go. I really wonder when i'll be able to stop breathing and leave peacefully. Or myb some1 could give me a helping hand in that? better not, if not u'll be charged for murder lol.
During our marraige preparation course, we were asked to write each other's good points and bad points out and see which 1 do we see most in our partner, and as expected its the bad points. Its only until a breakup then i could see her good points.
1) She's very caring towards her partner giving him all the attention he needs whenever he feels down.
2) She a hardworking woman, may it be at work or at home. She does the housework with no complains.
3) Many times she will bring home something her husband likes and give him as a surprise.
4) Although shes not hungry, she'll still accompany her husband to eat. She'll even say she like to see her husband eat cos it really looks like he's enjoying the food.
5) If she knows her husband needs something, she will try her very best to help out.
6) Whenever she goes out with her husband and his friends, she will always spare a thought for his "face". Giving him the respects he needed in front of his friends cos she says all guys want "face" she's only doing her part as a wife.
7) She a good host at home when her husband's friends come over. Always offering to help them do something like pouring drinks and bringing in chips even when she's told to rest and let the others self service.
8) She keeps secrets for her husband very well.
9) Occasionally, she will call her husband during work and ask if he has eaten anything or not. but usually this will end up her hanging the fone feeling sad cos her husband will somehow or another scold her or ignore her over the fone.
10) When her husband cant slp at nite she'll accompany him to chat until he's aslp. If she's too tired she'll just let him talk until she slps lol.
11) She will make an effort to join her husband to do whatever he's doing at that point of time, but usually she'll be left alone.
12) During weekends when she wakes up early and her husband is still slping, she'll go down to buy him breakfast.
13) when her husband is very sick, she'll take leave to come home look after him and bring him to the doc.
14) She rather eat lesser rice at home and let her husband have more cos she scared he gets hungry at nite.
All these good points in a single woman, where on earth can u find such wife? Shld any other guy managed to make her ur wife, pls do cherish her. Don't make her sad like what i did to her.
From initial stage where i cant even write out 1 good point abt her until the break up stage i can now list out 14 of them. Its really true that a person will only start to cherish what he has lost.
过去的一切已成回忆，为一能做的就是把这回忆永远保留在心里。偶尔回想起来会很甜美。苦涩的一段感情就像咖啡，又苦又甜的感觉让人无法入眠。
I do not want to start a flame war, but theres something i must clearify.
Taken from her blog "I shall moved on...I shall see how long he will be able to help me with those so-called HIS debts and I will resolve my so-called MY DEBTS (which partial goes to purchasing of sofa for house, sometimes his mcdonald meals, sometimes KTV, and sometimes ciggy...and MOST of it is MINE MA!)."
I did mention i will pay for the debts that we owe together, which includes this sofa. i do rmb saying that ur NEW CC bills i will not fork out a single cent. How often do i ask u to get me mac? as far as i rmb its once in a blue moon. How often have i told u i do not wish to join u in ur activities due to the reason i dont want u to spend so much which are not neccessary? Havent i returned u my cig money whenever i asked u to buy back for me 1st cos i'm lazy to go down buy? sometimes it was u who refuses to take.
So now u are going to slam all these blame on me, well then i got nth to say wor. So many times i think of ur pocket whenever u ask me to go out with u, yet now i'm to be slammed with all these.
Have u ever consider saying, whenever i have money the 1st person i'll spend them on is u? No, cos all u can think of now is how badly i treated u. Whenever i get pay, although i myself have debts piling on my head, i'll still let u have most of my money to pay up ur debts 1st, all i can do is put mine aside and let them chase. I never wanted to say all these here cos i was never calculative with u. U dont have transport money, ask from ur parents they dont have also, i have to go borrow and let u have it. U ask money from ur parents to eat and get scolded by ur dad, i was the 1 who brought u down for food although i know that money is for my transport. ur frd's wedding u have no money to give ang pow, i took a part of my pay and give it to u so u can go show face at the wedding. I always try to fulfill ur dreams whenever i think i have the ability to do so even though i have to sacrifice something. u think after bringing u to ritz for the fireworks i still have my pay left for my other bills or daily expenses? but becos of u i sacrificed those just to make u happy.
Is this the return i shld get when all i wanted is ur happiness when i made that decision? I admit i was wrong for not staying long in a job and going jobless for months, i've never told u this , for the past 2 months i wasnt gaming for nth, i was gaming for money cos i'm being paid to do it via paypal. Everytime i tell u my mum pass me money, all those shit but the fact is i worked for them! i didnt want u to know i took up gaming as a career path. Every month my mum pass u 300 to settle stand chart loan, always will have $40 xtra but i didnt bother to take from u, y is that so? cos i rather let u have it so u dont starve at work. When have u ever seen me being so calculative with u? How often have u been so calculative towards me?
Ppl who are reading this, think for urself, who's the 1 here taking the blames silently up to now?
Ur parent calls me a thief when things go missing at home. When they dont have any proof, dont even say anything. I still rmb the 1st time ur mum lost $50. i showed u my wallet, i even strip naked and proof to u i'm not hiding anything. $50 means nth to me seriously. Up to now , ur parents still treat me as a thief.. u know the reason y. U think for urself, whenever i know u need money i'll give to u if i have without u asking. Whenever u know i'm in need of some financial help, until i got no way out then i have to ask for ur help 1st. and even after asking, u still have to consider.
Yes u paid for my debts initially. i'm grateful to that. 1 more thing i forgot to add in, regarding our wedding, although i alrdy know by having 2 banquets ( lunch and dinner) we wont earn anything, but u wanted it i still let u go ahead with it. Y is the reason so???? becos i know to any woman, they want their wedding to be something they can be proud of. I reduced my guest list to only a group of close friends for what? For u la what else. cos u said u have many frds to invite ma, then i let u have the whole show lor. u think i dont wish to invite many friends to my wedding? Night banquet give ur side so many tables, u really think my relatives only so little? i seriously dont understand y i shld make all these sacrifices. i give in so many things to u, yet all i get in return is blames and not appreciation. Even up to now u're still being so self centered. For u, i tear down my pride but i get cold shoulder from u. U tell me u dun like me going out late nites with my frds, i stopped those. u dont like me playing MJ with henry, i turn them down even when i have the money to play. All these are my entertainments, u even try to take away my gaming which is my only form of entertainment left. So u expect me to live in ur jail while u happily go enjoy ur time with ur frds? Everytime u go out late nites, I always make the effort to stay up and wait for u to come home safely, if theres a need to i can even go and pick u up. But u are just too engrossed with the guys giving u their attention during these time. I've told u b4, what u are looking for is actually the honeymoon period type of love and not a long lasting kind. u say u try to change, but arent u like me? change for 1 week and back to norm again after that?
Life is just unfair, whenever guys and girls get into a conflict, the guys are always being looked at as the party who did the girl no good. Sometimes i have really let loose too much until u get out of hand. How many times i told u not to sign card on things which are not neccessary to have? U keep saying i was the 1 who spends most of the credits in ur CC. can u think carefully again, how much u spent on shopping? I can be pissed off but what abt me? i've been taking in all ur blames quietly letting u have ur way.
I'm tired of typing alrdy. I really felt all those that i've given are worthless... I'm not to be affected by ur words anymore. I've tried to be nice to let u have ur way in this breakup, but u just keep pushing.... real tired. Stick to our agreement, its best we end our relationship and friendship. Those guys who are ur friends and is reading this piece of shit story can jolly well flame me for all u want. Cos eventually, u're still her friends and not mine. A person who thinks and analyses things carefully, will eventually know that both of us are at fault in the end.
I did mention i will pay for the debts that we owe together, which includes this sofa. i do rmb saying that ur NEW CC bills i will not fork out a single cent. How often do i ask u to get me mac? as far as i rmb its once in a blue moon. How often have i told u i do not wish to join u in ur activities due to the reason i dont want u to spend so much which are not neccessary? Havent i returned u my cig money whenever i asked u to buy back for me 1st cos i'm lazy to go down buy? sometimes it was u who refuses to take.
So now u are going to slam all these blame on me, well then i got nth to say wor. So many times i think of ur pocket whenever u ask me to go out with u, yet now i'm to be slammed with all these.
Have u ever consider saying, whenever i have money the 1st person i'll spend them on is u? No, cos all u can think of now is how badly i treated u. Whenever i get pay, although i myself have debts piling on my head, i'll still let u have most of my money to pay up ur debts 1st, all i can do is put mine aside and let them chase. I never wanted to say all these here cos i was never calculative with u. U dont have transport money, ask from ur parents they dont have also, i have to go borrow and let u have it. U ask money from ur parents to eat and get scolded by ur dad, i was the 1 who brought u down for food although i know that money is for my transport. ur frd's wedding u have no money to give ang pow, i took a part of my pay and give it to u so u can go show face at the wedding. I always try to fulfill ur dreams whenever i think i have the ability to do so even though i have to sacrifice something. u think after bringing u to ritz for the fireworks i still have my pay left for my other bills or daily expenses? but becos of u i sacrificed those just to make u happy.
Is this the return i shld get when all i wanted is ur happiness when i made that decision? I admit i was wrong for not staying long in a job and going jobless for months, i've never told u this , for the past 2 months i wasnt gaming for nth, i was gaming for money cos i'm being paid to do it via paypal. Everytime i tell u my mum pass me money, all those shit but the fact is i worked for them! i didnt want u to know i took up gaming as a career path. Every month my mum pass u 300 to settle stand chart loan, always will have $40 xtra but i didnt bother to take from u, y is that so? cos i rather let u have it so u dont starve at work. When have u ever seen me being so calculative with u? How often have u been so calculative towards me?
Ppl who are reading this, think for urself, who's the 1 here taking the blames silently up to now?
Ur parent calls me a thief when things go missing at home. When they dont have any proof, dont even say anything. I still rmb the 1st time ur mum lost $50. i showed u my wallet, i even strip naked and proof to u i'm not hiding anything. $50 means nth to me seriously. Up to now , ur parents still treat me as a thief.. u know the reason y. U think for urself, whenever i know u need money i'll give to u if i have without u asking. Whenever u know i'm in need of some financial help, until i got no way out then i have to ask for ur help 1st. and even after asking, u still have to consider.
Yes u paid for my debts initially. i'm grateful to that. 1 more thing i forgot to add in, regarding our wedding, although i alrdy know by having 2 banquets ( lunch and dinner) we wont earn anything, but u wanted it i still let u go ahead with it. Y is the reason so???? becos i know to any woman, they want their wedding to be something they can be proud of. I reduced my guest list to only a group of close friends for what? For u la what else. cos u said u have many frds to invite ma, then i let u have the whole show lor. u think i dont wish to invite many friends to my wedding? Night banquet give ur side so many tables, u really think my relatives only so little? i seriously dont understand y i shld make all these sacrifices. i give in so many things to u, yet all i get in return is blames and not appreciation. Even up to now u're still being so self centered. For u, i tear down my pride but i get cold shoulder from u. U tell me u dun like me going out late nites with my frds, i stopped those. u dont like me playing MJ with henry, i turn them down even when i have the money to play. All these are my entertainments, u even try to take away my gaming which is my only form of entertainment left. So u expect me to live in ur jail while u happily go enjoy ur time with ur frds? Everytime u go out late nites, I always make the effort to stay up and wait for u to come home safely, if theres a need to i can even go and pick u up. But u are just too engrossed with the guys giving u their attention during these time. I've told u b4, what u are looking for is actually the honeymoon period type of love and not a long lasting kind. u say u try to change, but arent u like me? change for 1 week and back to norm again after that?
Life is just unfair, whenever guys and girls get into a conflict, the guys are always being looked at as the party who did the girl no good. Sometimes i have really let loose too much until u get out of hand. How many times i told u not to sign card on things which are not neccessary to have? U keep saying i was the 1 who spends most of the credits in ur CC. can u think carefully again, how much u spent on shopping? I can be pissed off but what abt me? i've been taking in all ur blames quietly letting u have ur way.
I'm tired of typing alrdy. I really felt all those that i've given are worthless... I'm not to be affected by ur words anymore. I've tried to be nice to let u have ur way in this breakup, but u just keep pushing.... real tired. Stick to our agreement, its best we end our relationship and friendship. Those guys who are ur friends and is reading this piece of shit story can jolly well flame me for all u want. Cos eventually, u're still her friends and not mine. A person who thinks and analyses things carefully, will eventually know that both of us are at fault in the end.
Some simple knowledge on men
This is to let u know more abt the average men and their thinking. Guys who read this might not agree to me, u're only deceiving urself if u think that way. Dont be a hypocrite.
Q1) Y do u think a guy has so much time to show xtra care and concern to a girl whom he has just known for less than 1 week?
A1) Becos he wants to go after that girl. Simple and sweet no other reasons behind it.
Q2) Y do u think a guy is willing to be a so-called big brother and give u advises that will only put u in the right and the other party is in the wrong but never some constructive advises that will make u think of situations both ways?
A2) He's taking pity on, so by telling u that u r not wrong he thinks it will make u feel better. And being ur so called big brother will just add on the the amnt of girl's phone numbers in his fone list which somehow or another boosts his male ego. and sometimes when he is lonely he wont be afraid that there are girls to chat with. This kind of ppl are also classified under chee hong kia.
Q3) Y are guys so willing to so call treat another girl to 1 thing or another?
A3) This is their way of telling her that i'm going after u and also showing his so called generousity. Y do i say so called generousity? if he isnt going after u, he will not even bother to pay anything for u.
Q4) Do u think guys have a logical set of mind when they are with some1 whom they like?
A4) No they dont, and usually during these times, they think with their small head rather than big head.
Q5) How long do u think an average guy will lasts going after another girl if the girl plays hard to get?
A5) An average of 1 month, if he still doesnt get any improvements he will find his next pray, or tell u to be his little sister so he can come back to u again next time when there is a chance.
Q6) When is this chance i just mentioned in Q5?
A6) This chance is when he sees u suffering from a relationship setback and going down, and this is when he appears again to be xtra caring to u, if u fall into this trap u're just a gullible woman.
Q7) Do guys really enjoy clubbing and drinking that much?
A7) Minority of the guys yes, they do enjoy just pure clubbing alone. As to the majority, their reason to be there are non other than oogling at girls and hoping to score with 1 girl that nite. As for drinking part, the drinks are actually just a tool he uses to get girls. When the girls get drunk, thats when his true colours shows.
I will stop here for now, more to come in future. Many guys will hate me for saying all these which they think its not true, but deep down inside, u know what u are.
Q1) Y do u think a guy has so much time to show xtra care and concern to a girl whom he has just known for less than 1 week?
A1) Becos he wants to go after that girl. Simple and sweet no other reasons behind it.
Q2) Y do u think a guy is willing to be a so-called big brother and give u advises that will only put u in the right and the other party is in the wrong but never some constructive advises that will make u think of situations both ways?
A2) He's taking pity on, so by telling u that u r not wrong he thinks it will make u feel better. And being ur so called big brother will just add on the the amnt of girl's phone numbers in his fone list which somehow or another boosts his male ego. and sometimes when he is lonely he wont be afraid that there are girls to chat with. This kind of ppl are also classified under chee hong kia.
Q3) Y are guys so willing to so call treat another girl to 1 thing or another?
A3) This is their way of telling her that i'm going after u and also showing his so called generousity. Y do i say so called generousity? if he isnt going after u, he will not even bother to pay anything for u.
Q4) Do u think guys have a logical set of mind when they are with some1 whom they like?
A4) No they dont, and usually during these times, they think with their small head rather than big head.
Q5) How long do u think an average guy will lasts going after another girl if the girl plays hard to get?
A5) An average of 1 month, if he still doesnt get any improvements he will find his next pray, or tell u to be his little sister so he can come back to u again next time when there is a chance.
Q6) When is this chance i just mentioned in Q5?
A6) This chance is when he sees u suffering from a relationship setback and going down, and this is when he appears again to be xtra caring to u, if u fall into this trap u're just a gullible woman.
Q7) Do guys really enjoy clubbing and drinking that much?
A7) Minority of the guys yes, they do enjoy just pure clubbing alone. As to the majority, their reason to be there are non other than oogling at girls and hoping to score with 1 girl that nite. As for drinking part, the drinks are actually just a tool he uses to get girls. When the girls get drunk, thats when his true colours shows.
I will stop here for now, more to come in future. Many guys will hate me for saying all these which they think its not true, but deep down inside, u know what u are.
I've done what i should do.....No other words can change my mind now.
I'm actually quite happy now that she hates me. Can she ever understand y i could nvr open up to a new relationship anymore?
I wonder y is she getting all worked up over that decision i've made last nite. Isn't letting some1 free after so long makes the person happier? Lots of queries lots of ????, but then again, i cant be selfish anymore, its really time to let her go. Its fine with me calling me a liar, i admit i lie, but who on this earth can proudly say that he/she doesnt lie? 1 lie can be considered a white lie by the teller, but it could hurt the listening party. Theres never such things as white lies in this world to the person who got lied to.
Hate me for all u want to cos i deserve it. I do not wish to think of any other things now, i've done enough thinking for the past 7 days. No, i'm not going to bad mouth her here today although i feel no matter how hard i try to solve our problem she's still thinking abt herself.
Woke up this morning and found a few more strands of white hair on my head, now i really believe too much thinking makes u grow more white hair. Up to now, i guess the biggest lie i made was a lie i told myself. Lying to myself, that she will be much happier after i leave her. Lying to myself, that i still hope that in future we can be together. Lying to myself, I can be happy too. I've been lying to myself ever since the start of this relationship, telling myself she wun betray me, its ok to start a new relationship with her. If u think I've lied to u alot, i can tell u, i lie to myself more than i ever lied to u. The only 1 thing i did not lie to myself is the fact that after all these things happen, i do not hate her not even for a single bit.
U were saying u hate liars, so what abt urself then? Do a short survey on ur frds,see if any single 1 of them can proudly tell u they have not told a lie since they can talk. I'm not in a position to criticise what u have been doing during the last yr of our relationship. I'll let u bad mouth me for all u want. cos eventually after so many things that happen, to u i'm always at fault and u are always the good guy.
I wonder y is she getting all worked up over that decision i've made last nite. Isn't letting some1 free after so long makes the person happier? Lots of queries lots of ????, but then again, i cant be selfish anymore, its really time to let her go. Its fine with me calling me a liar, i admit i lie, but who on this earth can proudly say that he/she doesnt lie? 1 lie can be considered a white lie by the teller, but it could hurt the listening party. Theres never such things as white lies in this world to the person who got lied to.
Hate me for all u want to cos i deserve it. I do not wish to think of any other things now, i've done enough thinking for the past 7 days. No, i'm not going to bad mouth her here today although i feel no matter how hard i try to solve our problem she's still thinking abt herself.
Woke up this morning and found a few more strands of white hair on my head, now i really believe too much thinking makes u grow more white hair. Up to now, i guess the biggest lie i made was a lie i told myself. Lying to myself, that she will be much happier after i leave her. Lying to myself, that i still hope that in future we can be together. Lying to myself, I can be happy too. I've been lying to myself ever since the start of this relationship, telling myself she wun betray me, its ok to start a new relationship with her. If u think I've lied to u alot, i can tell u, i lie to myself more than i ever lied to u. The only 1 thing i did not lie to myself is the fact that after all these things happen, i do not hate her not even for a single bit.
U were saying u hate liars, so what abt urself then? Do a short survey on ur frds,see if any single 1 of them can proudly tell u they have not told a lie since they can talk. I'm not in a position to criticise what u have been doing during the last yr of our relationship. I'll let u bad mouth me for all u want. cos eventually after so many things that happen, to u i'm always at fault and u are always the good guy.
The decision hurts... but i think its the best way to keep her happy
Had a chat with her on msn, it was kinda ok at start but as it goes on things started to turn bad. I dont know where shld i start from, lets just say it was me who cant take things easy.
I know it would take a long time to prove to her that i changed, it could be yrs, and what if few yrs down the road after i changed and she alrdy has a steady bf? I dont wish to be a third party. therefor i made this hurting decision. i will nvr again ask her for a patch back and i'll only continue paying half of our debts, new loans or credit card debts of hers i will not fork out a single cent. flat will continued to be deducted from my cpf. once they decide to sell it after 5 yrs i'll stop paying.
The only reason for the both of us to communicate now is only money, theres no more love between us, not even a single feeling for each other. Y did i make such decisions? cos she is definately happier without me in her life, and on my side i couldnt bear to know that she alrdy has another bf even after a few yrs down the road. therefore, to stop hurting myself deeper in future, i made this decision.
I guess she really doesnt know how painful having a heartache is. I hope she wont have to encounter it in future too. So long as shes happy, i'll be happy.
I'll never forget her for my whole life, not just becos of how deep i loved her, but also for being the 1st person to leave such a deep scar in my heart. I alrdy used to have phobia of getting into relationships b4, and after i've been hurt again this time, i'm just too afraid to get into another 1. Even if i do ever get into a new relationship, i will NEVER put in any feelings. Whats broken can never be fixed back to be what it was b4. Mine was broken b4 and now its totally shattered. Try to shatter ur mirror and then glue it back, i doubt u'll be able to find all the pieces to make the mirror perfect again.
My heart is dead, so is my body and my soul. I'm the nly 1 to be blamed for what has happened to me. Its the path that i chose and walked so i've got to accept it. I really pity the next woman that ever comes into my life cos she'll nvr be able to get me to love her wholeheartedly during her time with me. Just hope no woman will have to encounter this ba.
原来乘经拥有过，还比失去痛苦. I remembered her asking me the meaning of this phrase. Many ppl will understand what this phrase means by just reading it. The actual reason i used this phrase as my MSN nick cos its my way of telling her "I Love You" whenever i chat with her. Curious? This is the last phrase from the song I Love You in Chen Weilian's new album. I know i'm complicated and hard to understand. Thats y theres only 1 me in this world which makes me special =)
Goodbye to my relationship, goodbye to my heart. Would it be better if i go be a monk? LOL I guess not, cos it was the gods who played with my life so y shld i be their followers?....
I know it would take a long time to prove to her that i changed, it could be yrs, and what if few yrs down the road after i changed and she alrdy has a steady bf? I dont wish to be a third party. therefor i made this hurting decision. i will nvr again ask her for a patch back and i'll only continue paying half of our debts, new loans or credit card debts of hers i will not fork out a single cent. flat will continued to be deducted from my cpf. once they decide to sell it after 5 yrs i'll stop paying.
The only reason for the both of us to communicate now is only money, theres no more love between us, not even a single feeling for each other. Y did i make such decisions? cos she is definately happier without me in her life, and on my side i couldnt bear to know that she alrdy has another bf even after a few yrs down the road. therefore, to stop hurting myself deeper in future, i made this decision.
I guess she really doesnt know how painful having a heartache is. I hope she wont have to encounter it in future too. So long as shes happy, i'll be happy.
I'll never forget her for my whole life, not just becos of how deep i loved her, but also for being the 1st person to leave such a deep scar in my heart. I alrdy used to have phobia of getting into relationships b4, and after i've been hurt again this time, i'm just too afraid to get into another 1. Even if i do ever get into a new relationship, i will NEVER put in any feelings. Whats broken can never be fixed back to be what it was b4. Mine was broken b4 and now its totally shattered. Try to shatter ur mirror and then glue it back, i doubt u'll be able to find all the pieces to make the mirror perfect again.
My heart is dead, so is my body and my soul. I'm the nly 1 to be blamed for what has happened to me. Its the path that i chose and walked so i've got to accept it. I really pity the next woman that ever comes into my life cos she'll nvr be able to get me to love her wholeheartedly during her time with me. Just hope no woman will have to encounter this ba.
原来乘经拥有过，还比失去痛苦. I remembered her asking me the meaning of this phrase. Many ppl will understand what this phrase means by just reading it. The actual reason i used this phrase as my MSN nick cos its my way of telling her "I Love You" whenever i chat with her. Curious? This is the last phrase from the song I Love You in Chen Weilian's new album. I know i'm complicated and hard to understand. Thats y theres only 1 me in this world which makes me special =)
Goodbye to my relationship, goodbye to my heart. Would it be better if i go be a monk? LOL I guess not, cos it was the gods who played with my life so y shld i be their followers?....
I was being called a fool... but i thikn thats what i am.
Late at nite, chatting with online friend, kena scolded by her say i stupid. Well i guess that fits me just fine. I guess she just felt that I shldnt continue paying for her loans and the flat ba. Well but for the past 3 yrs i have not actually made an effort to pay them, so i guess its only rite for me to do my part to lighten some of her load now ba, afterall she's alrdy alone and her parents dont really help much. Somemore she say, "ppl lodge mata report on u yet u still so kind to her, u really stupid" Kns lol, lodge lodge lor, it was my fault anyway, and i'm used to prison life so it doesnt really make any difference if i'm charged or not.
I've decided not to go Macau le. Too many liabilities here liao, if i leave, she will have to support the flat alone again cos my side no cpf contribution, then her loans she got to pay herself and work part time, which is 1 thing i dont wana see her doing. My mum doesnt really agree to the idea of me leaving SG too, cos she scared i gamble away my money there when i'm free, scared i kena chop into pieces there by the gangsters. I think she watch too much HK dramas and movies LOL. I know this opportunity dont come often, but for my family and friends i think a little sacrifice wont do me any bad.
Feel like smoking now.... whole day only smoke 2 sticks, didnt know it was that hard to quit smoking. Hand trembling, nose sniffing, wah like cold turkey treatment sia. whats worse my mum keeps smoking in front of me =.= temptations.... i must endure man!!!!!!!!
Tomorrow will be the 7th day without her, the feeling is terrible, worse than quitting my ciggies. Today i suddenly came up with this funny thoughts, If 2 person are fated to meet each other but they are not fated to be together, do u think its the god that is playing with us? PLaying with us like a puppet tied to the string and he's controlling us. Well if its true, then y are there still so many mortals praying to 1 god or another? I rather pray to the devil if that is true, cos the devil always gives us what we want but the bad part is we will have to give back something in return. I wouldnt mind giving half my life span to the devil if he can bring us back together. But tthen if i do it this way i'm just being selfish, cos she doesnt like her spouse to die b4 her cos she canot tahan being lonely. i'm confused now.
Think i'll let my mind rest now, been doing too much thinking today, i think i'll be having more white hair soon....
I've decided not to go Macau le. Too many liabilities here liao, if i leave, she will have to support the flat alone again cos my side no cpf contribution, then her loans she got to pay herself and work part time, which is 1 thing i dont wana see her doing. My mum doesnt really agree to the idea of me leaving SG too, cos she scared i gamble away my money there when i'm free, scared i kena chop into pieces there by the gangsters. I think she watch too much HK dramas and movies LOL. I know this opportunity dont come often, but for my family and friends i think a little sacrifice wont do me any bad.
Feel like smoking now.... whole day only smoke 2 sticks, didnt know it was that hard to quit smoking. Hand trembling, nose sniffing, wah like cold turkey treatment sia. whats worse my mum keeps smoking in front of me =.= temptations.... i must endure man!!!!!!!!
Tomorrow will be the 7th day without her, the feeling is terrible, worse than quitting my ciggies. Today i suddenly came up with this funny thoughts, If 2 person are fated to meet each other but they are not fated to be together, do u think its the god that is playing with us? PLaying with us like a puppet tied to the string and he's controlling us. Well if its true, then y are there still so many mortals praying to 1 god or another? I rather pray to the devil if that is true, cos the devil always gives us what we want but the bad part is we will have to give back something in return. I wouldnt mind giving half my life span to the devil if he can bring us back together. But tthen if i do it this way i'm just being selfish, cos she doesnt like her spouse to die b4 her cos she canot tahan being lonely. i'm confused now.
Think i'll let my mind rest now, been doing too much thinking today, i think i'll be having more white hair soon....
Promises...
"Promises are made to be broken" many ppl will usually say this when they break their promise, well that was what i always say last time. But now the word promise has brought a new meaning to me. Promises shld be kept even though u think its no longer worth keeping it. A promise will always be a promise, once u break it, theres no other reasons for denying it.
At last i've thrown aside my pride totally and open up my heart to tell her what has been going on in my mind. Those ppl who r reading this will most probably say its all bullshit, well i dont care what others say as long as i know those r true. Even if she doesnt forgive me, I'll still keep my promises. Nothing in this world matters more to me than her.
I wrote her a mail, asking her if we could start all over from the 1st time we met, but during our conversation on msn just now, she told me, i'm doing all this just becos i wanted revenge. I was surprised cos thats actually how she sees me. I have nvr thought of revenge since the start of this major problem at all, i was really heartbroken, i could feel my heart being torn once again. Well if thats really the way she sees me as, i told her to forget everything thing that i've said or done trying to reconcil with her. If i cant makke her rmb me for the good things i've done at least she'll rmb how nasty i was to her. There r more contents in our conversation, but i wont disclose them here, its just between me and her.
my final promise to her "你会是我心里最后的一个女人". This will be a promise i will keep for life till the day i no longer breathe.
At last i've thrown aside my pride totally and open up my heart to tell her what has been going on in my mind. Those ppl who r reading this will most probably say its all bullshit, well i dont care what others say as long as i know those r true. Even if she doesnt forgive me, I'll still keep my promises. Nothing in this world matters more to me than her.
I wrote her a mail, asking her if we could start all over from the 1st time we met, but during our conversation on msn just now, she told me, i'm doing all this just becos i wanted revenge. I was surprised cos thats actually how she sees me. I have nvr thought of revenge since the start of this major problem at all, i was really heartbroken, i could feel my heart being torn once again. Well if thats really the way she sees me as, i told her to forget everything thing that i've said or done trying to reconcil with her. If i cant makke her rmb me for the good things i've done at least she'll rmb how nasty i was to her. There r more contents in our conversation, but i wont disclose them here, its just between me and her.
my final promise to her "你会是我心里最后的一个女人". This will be a promise i will keep for life till the day i no longer breathe.
Restless
Only 2pm in the afternoon, i'm alrdy so restless. I dont understand y i kept thinking of her. been trying to keep myself bz but it seems like nth is helping. She must be laughing happily now as she had started her new life.
Well, I just hope the job i applied for is a success. If i got through I will be leaving my family and friends here in Singapore and i'll be working in macau for at least a yr. Myb leaving this place will do me some good. Too many places brings back too many memories, and everytime being in these places, hurts me. Like on last Friday when me louis and serene passed by the Tony Roma's restuarant just reminds me of the time when we had our dinner there to celebrate our anniversary. Argh, got to stop this, i'm going crazy soon. Pray hard for the job. I really wana leave this place.
Well, I just hope the job i applied for is a success. If i got through I will be leaving my family and friends here in Singapore and i'll be working in macau for at least a yr. Myb leaving this place will do me some good. Too many places brings back too many memories, and everytime being in these places, hurts me. Like on last Friday when me louis and serene passed by the Tony Roma's restuarant just reminds me of the time when we had our dinner there to celebrate our anniversary. Argh, got to stop this, i'm going crazy soon. Pray hard for the job. I really wana leave this place.
The ache is back.... but i got to overcome it somehow.
Sunday was suppose to be a relaxing and stressfree day for most ppl, well it was for me when i just woke up in the afternoon. Logged on to the net and updated my blog. After updating my blog i received an sms from her, i was kinda shocked cos i've alrdy told myself theres no more chance for us to talk anymore. Well she told me in the sms to read her blog which is the last 1 she blogged for me.
After reading it, it brought back many many beautiful memories. But like i said they were only memories, they can only bring u a short period of smile on ur face, but to me its more than enough. Chatted with her on MSN too b4 i went for my jog, during the conversation, she was telling me abt the swell on her face, a sudden pang of guilt rushed into me at that point of time. Whats worse, she told me that the doc said that this slap could actually affect her hearing problems, wow just imagine how i felt right after i read this.... i told her if her hearing is really affected i wouldnt forgive myself for life, i might even make both my ears deaf as to make up for her. During our conversation, i suddenly remembered abt my roller blades so i tried to make an arrangement with her to take it back cos the floowing week i will want to go blading myself. I was trying to decide if i shld see her that evening to get the blades or not cos i have an appointment with 1 of my online gaming friend. That friend of mine actually wanted to ask me out cos she didnt want me to feel that i'm alone during this hard time, really appreciate that.
Well during my jog at TPY stadium, it was a hard struggle to make the decision. I was afraid to meet Gin cos I'm afraid i might lose my mind once again, but i very much wanted to see her, it was a tough fight in my mind which finally made me decide to meet her. Cos i very much wanted to see her again. I jogged home from the stadium and rest for awhile b4 logging in MSN again to tell her. Made an appointment with her to get my blades back. I was so happy she agreed.
Finally when she arrived, i told myself to control my emotions and i rushed down to meet her. Took my blades from her, i looked at her in the dark. I saw the scar, well the funny thing is hers is on top of her face while mine is below lol. I finally asked her for a last hug b4 we end this relation once and for all. I didnt wana let go when i hugged her, i suddenly noticed it has been a long time since i hugged her, i've let her down, it was really my fault for causing her to have an affair, i shld have paid more attention to her. but whats past is past no point looking back now.
Went to bed real early yesterday, was flipping in bed whole mind filled with thoughts of her during our past 3 yrs together, and i know it myself i'm not used to not having her around me, to nag, to lecture at me, to make fun of me, to laugh at my silly faces, to eat together with me, to be my bolster when we slp. All this now is gone, i wonder how long it'll take me to get used to my life now.
I miss her, i really do. But I dont know how to face her fo i have let her down again and again, and all i can do now is to silently support her in the dark. Wish me luck.
After reading it, it brought back many many beautiful memories. But like i said they were only memories, they can only bring u a short period of smile on ur face, but to me its more than enough. Chatted with her on MSN too b4 i went for my jog, during the conversation, she was telling me abt the swell on her face, a sudden pang of guilt rushed into me at that point of time. Whats worse, she told me that the doc said that this slap could actually affect her hearing problems, wow just imagine how i felt right after i read this.... i told her if her hearing is really affected i wouldnt forgive myself for life, i might even make both my ears deaf as to make up for her. During our conversation, i suddenly remembered abt my roller blades so i tried to make an arrangement with her to take it back cos the floowing week i will want to go blading myself. I was trying to decide if i shld see her that evening to get the blades or not cos i have an appointment with 1 of my online gaming friend. That friend of mine actually wanted to ask me out cos she didnt want me to feel that i'm alone during this hard time, really appreciate that.
Well during my jog at TPY stadium, it was a hard struggle to make the decision. I was afraid to meet Gin cos I'm afraid i might lose my mind once again, but i very much wanted to see her, it was a tough fight in my mind which finally made me decide to meet her. Cos i very much wanted to see her again. I jogged home from the stadium and rest for awhile b4 logging in MSN again to tell her. Made an appointment with her to get my blades back. I was so happy she agreed.
Finally when she arrived, i told myself to control my emotions and i rushed down to meet her. Took my blades from her, i looked at her in the dark. I saw the scar, well the funny thing is hers is on top of her face while mine is below lol. I finally asked her for a last hug b4 we end this relation once and for all. I didnt wana let go when i hugged her, i suddenly noticed it has been a long time since i hugged her, i've let her down, it was really my fault for causing her to have an affair, i shld have paid more attention to her. but whats past is past no point looking back now.
Went to bed real early yesterday, was flipping in bed whole mind filled with thoughts of her during our past 3 yrs together, and i know it myself i'm not used to not having her around me, to nag, to lecture at me, to make fun of me, to laugh at my silly faces, to eat together with me, to be my bolster when we slp. All this now is gone, i wonder how long it'll take me to get used to my life now.
I miss her, i really do. But I dont know how to face her fo i have let her down again and again, and all i can do now is to silently support her in the dark. Wish me luck.
Regrets, Break Down, Standing Back Up
In life there is bound to have something that a person have done that will cause him to feel regret. Regrets can come in many forms, it could be a short term regret, or a lifetime regret. For many yrs, I've not regretted for anything that I've done only until yesterday.
It was really the biggest mistake i ever made in my whole damn life.
She was kind enough to help me move my things over for me but yet......Y did i have to lose my mind???? Y did i have to be so stupid. I told myself i only wanted to give her a last big hug b4 we split up but y did i have to slap her instead???
Everytime see movies those lovers breakup sure got 1 party say heartpain but i doubt those actors know the true meaning of heart pain... and for the 1st time in my life i felt my heart aching the moment my hand landed on her face. The pain was simply unbearable. i wanted so very much to cry out on the spot, but up to that point of time i was still stubborn. Once i reached home, i went out again, initially was only intending to go out for a stroll and let off some steam in me, but as i walked on the streets, my mood became suicidal.... i was very scared, I wanted so very much to break down on the spot and just end myself like that. I chose to run, run all the way home back to where my mum is. I called her up to apologise, not hoping that she'll forgive me, but just to let her know I am really sorry for my actions. I'm actually prepared to do anything to make up for her for the past 3 yrs. Well of cos she didnt really forgive me but instead she said becos of that slap she'll remember me for life. Should i feel happy or sad, i couldnt make her remember me for the good things i've done but at least i'll be in her memories for life for the 1 action i've done. I'm confused, but i've decided not to think about it anymore.
The very nite, i called up a few close friends, confided in them, and asked them out for a drink. i So very much wanted to get myself dead drunk last nite so i have an excuse to dash out of the road and die away.....but i really hate my buddies, I'm such a bastard yet they are always behind me supporting me, whenever i'm down, theres sure to be 1 of them around me, i hate them y dont they give me a lecture or even beat me up for that slap i landed on her....i was holding my tears the whole nite at the pub until david showed up. He saw me emo-ing, and told me its ok for me to cry tonite, i guess that was it, my tears only needed a little pushing, and i cried like a little boy outside the pub, i couldnt care anymore if it was embarressing or not, everything in me just came out...i gave myself 3 tight slaps for being such a bastard but i know this will never make up for that 1 slap on her. My buddies took a long time to console me and get some senses into me, at last, i know i shldnt let any1 down anymore, my buddies came down for me i know they care and definately they wouldnt wana see me in this state, I stood up, i've let 1 person down i shldnt let any1 down anymore. I'm bringing back the old Eugene who is a everything also bo chup even if the sky fall down kind, but at the same time, i'll work towards my goal from the moment i stood up. Everything i told her over the fone yesterday i will keep to my promise.
I find it kinda funny when most of my buddies thought i will become a player after this incident, to me being a player is no different from 2 timing, all u do is hurt others. I guess it could take another 5 or more longer yrs to fix up my relation phobia again. But its no longer impt, whats impt now is MONEY! In this world, no money no talk, when a person is rich, u dun have to look for woman but they will flock to u instead, but thats not what i want. i wana be rich, so in future if she lands into any financial problems i will have the ability to help.
I'm giving myself a long break from BGR, time to pay attention to building my career now. My face is still aching and sowllen from the slaps but comapring the pain on my face to the pain in my heart, i really wished i could cure my heart pain 1st.
Wish her all the best in her life, and yes she did not make a mistake leaving me, and i just showed her the decision was rite when i slapped her.
It was really the biggest mistake i ever made in my whole damn life.
She was kind enough to help me move my things over for me but yet......Y did i have to lose my mind???? Y did i have to be so stupid. I told myself i only wanted to give her a last big hug b4 we split up but y did i have to slap her instead???
Everytime see movies those lovers breakup sure got 1 party say heartpain but i doubt those actors know the true meaning of heart pain... and for the 1st time in my life i felt my heart aching the moment my hand landed on her face. The pain was simply unbearable. i wanted so very much to cry out on the spot, but up to that point of time i was still stubborn. Once i reached home, i went out again, initially was only intending to go out for a stroll and let off some steam in me, but as i walked on the streets, my mood became suicidal.... i was very scared, I wanted so very much to break down on the spot and just end myself like that. I chose to run, run all the way home back to where my mum is. I called her up to apologise, not hoping that she'll forgive me, but just to let her know I am really sorry for my actions. I'm actually prepared to do anything to make up for her for the past 3 yrs. Well of cos she didnt really forgive me but instead she said becos of that slap she'll remember me for life. Should i feel happy or sad, i couldnt make her remember me for the good things i've done but at least i'll be in her memories for life for the 1 action i've done. I'm confused, but i've decided not to think about it anymore.
The very nite, i called up a few close friends, confided in them, and asked them out for a drink. i So very much wanted to get myself dead drunk last nite so i have an excuse to dash out of the road and die away.....but i really hate my buddies, I'm such a bastard yet they are always behind me supporting me, whenever i'm down, theres sure to be 1 of them around me, i hate them y dont they give me a lecture or even beat me up for that slap i landed on her....i was holding my tears the whole nite at the pub until david showed up. He saw me emo-ing, and told me its ok for me to cry tonite, i guess that was it, my tears only needed a little pushing, and i cried like a little boy outside the pub, i couldnt care anymore if it was embarressing or not, everything in me just came out...i gave myself 3 tight slaps for being such a bastard but i know this will never make up for that 1 slap on her. My buddies took a long time to console me and get some senses into me, at last, i know i shldnt let any1 down anymore, my buddies came down for me i know they care and definately they wouldnt wana see me in this state, I stood up, i've let 1 person down i shldnt let any1 down anymore. I'm bringing back the old Eugene who is a everything also bo chup even if the sky fall down kind, but at the same time, i'll work towards my goal from the moment i stood up. Everything i told her over the fone yesterday i will keep to my promise.
I find it kinda funny when most of my buddies thought i will become a player after this incident, to me being a player is no different from 2 timing, all u do is hurt others. I guess it could take another 5 or more longer yrs to fix up my relation phobia again. But its no longer impt, whats impt now is MONEY! In this world, no money no talk, when a person is rich, u dun have to look for woman but they will flock to u instead, but thats not what i want. i wana be rich, so in future if she lands into any financial problems i will have the ability to help.
I'm giving myself a long break from BGR, time to pay attention to building my career now. My face is still aching and sowllen from the slaps but comapring the pain on my face to the pain in my heart, i really wished i could cure my heart pain 1st.
Wish her all the best in her life, and yes she did not make a mistake leaving me, and i just showed her the decision was rite when i slapped her.
My Final Decision
Well finally I've made my decision to stop this once and for all. Told her to file for a divorce alrdy. Had a short conversation with her during her lunch time just now, throughout the conversation i somehow had this feeling in me to forgive her for what she had done, but i still decided to be cold blooded. I really really canot stand my partner being unfaithful to me somemore she's my wife =.=. Anyway a decision made is made and i wont turn back anymore. No point dragging on cos i know i'll definately treat her veru differently if we were to get back together again. The feeling is no more there, dead.
Shit happens everyday. You'll never know when it's gonna come knocking on your door.
Well as u can see this is my 1st post. Didnt wana change much to this blog cos i'm only making this to throw out all my problems. Laugh at me for all u wan to cos i too laugh at myself for my mistakes.
3 yrs in marriage, 3 yrs of commitment, 3 yrs of being faithful, all these have been a waste of my time. It was really foolish of me to believe her that she wont 2 time me. My god what a joke, its just like a compulsive gambler saying he wont gamble not even for the new yr. How naive can i get? every1 cheats somehow or another, but i still chose to believe. I'm still very curious y do all women around me have to hurt me this way? 2 serious relations both end up with 2 timers.... even the only kin i have does this which made me having a broken family....but i do not blame her at all cos afterall shes all i got, the only person who will nvr give me up no matter what mistakes i've made.
Am i being too kind to her this time? I actually asked the guy to come to our house downstairs to pick her up to work cos i know she wont be feeling good after this quarrel. I myself find ths very not like me. I even remembered telling her, "eh i am an ah beng leh so what u expect me to do if u know i ask him to come?" LOL wat a big joke, cos my only intention was to make sure of her safety. How silly of me. If it was 3 yrs back i bet the guy would have landed in the hospital with a minimum of 3 broken bones and a few of the body parts fractured. I think i've somehow matured from this or in other words i might have accepted my fate. All my relationship turns out being 2 time fate LOL.
I was being told by her that i dont accompany her enough. well myb it could be true, cos i'm always in my computer room waiting for her to come in to use the pc together b4 she goes to bed early. Told her this many times but well i guess it just dont work out this way. I've already had a hard time finding a job, really been unlucky with everything. got a job at a supermarket, attended 1st day then on that nite i sprained my neck so bad i couldnt attend work the next day thus i was sacked, then i got a job doing data entry, and guess what, 1st day of work only b4 lunch time my in charge told me i'm not needed to fill up this position as the previous staff decides not to resign. Finally i was suppose to start work today, and i have to find out abt the shocking news that my wife was 2 timing me.
Wow, i stunned there for awhile, mind went blank not knowing what to write haha, i must admit this is a super big impact on me. Just as my heart has started to open up for a new relation which got me wanting to start a family, this kind of things have to happen again. 1st relation was also 3 yrs now its another 3 yrs, am i fated not to have any relationships for more than 3 yrs? I dont think i would be serious in any relation i get into now. i might not even wana be in 1 LOL. hey i'm not the kind of guy who cant live without girls. Definately not a chee hong kia hahah. really sick and tired of life, how i wish i could turn back to the time when i am still schooling. Life back then was so carefree, do what i want, go whereever i feel like, no responsibilities, no commitments, and the most impt of all, i dont get hurt by a broken relationship being 2 timed.
No no no, i;'m not thinking of ending my life, wah i'd really be stupid if i go do that liao. To me i dont get beaten down so easily, I've always known I do things to the extreme may it be good or bad, and when it comes to revenge LOLOLOLOLOL u really cant imagine what i'll actually do... Nobody can read my mind not even my mother. NObody knows what plans i make in my mind. But surprisingly this time i have no thoughts abt revenge. I somehow felt its really fated to end this way. No point blaming on any1.
Time to start a new chapter in my life. I've got to live a better life now. It her loss for choosing to 2 time me. Although I'm not the romantic kind of person that she wants, but at least i know i'm not the kind who is unfaithful to my partner once i'm committed to her. I just changed msn nick "I was ressurected from the grave. I shld make full use of my life from now on. *Evil Grin*" really best describes what i wana do now. Time to have some fun, but 1st i think i still have to shed off some fats haha. For her i made myself fat so she can look slim and pretty and i walk beside her, but now it shld be my turn to pamper myself. time for diets and workouts. =p
From this moment on, i shall declare, no other female species will ever make me change for her or sacrifice anything for her in any ways. Its my life and i'll live it in whatever ways i want to.
THIS IS MY BUSINESS AND ITS NON OF UR CONCERN.
3 yrs in marriage, 3 yrs of commitment, 3 yrs of being faithful, all these have been a waste of my time. It was really foolish of me to believe her that she wont 2 time me. My god what a joke, its just like a compulsive gambler saying he wont gamble not even for the new yr. How naive can i get? every1 cheats somehow or another, but i still chose to believe. I'm still very curious y do all women around me have to hurt me this way? 2 serious relations both end up with 2 timers.... even the only kin i have does this which made me having a broken family....but i do not blame her at all cos afterall shes all i got, the only person who will nvr give me up no matter what mistakes i've made.
Am i being too kind to her this time? I actually asked the guy to come to our house downstairs to pick her up to work cos i know she wont be feeling good after this quarrel. I myself find ths very not like me. I even remembered telling her, "eh i am an ah beng leh so what u expect me to do if u know i ask him to come?" LOL wat a big joke, cos my only intention was to make sure of her safety. How silly of me. If it was 3 yrs back i bet the guy would have landed in the hospital with a minimum of 3 broken bones and a few of the body parts fractured. I think i've somehow matured from this or in other words i might have accepted my fate. All my relationship turns out being 2 time fate LOL.
I was being told by her that i dont accompany her enough. well myb it could be true, cos i'm always in my computer room waiting for her to come in to use the pc together b4 she goes to bed early. Told her this many times but well i guess it just dont work out this way. I've already had a hard time finding a job, really been unlucky with everything. got a job at a supermarket, attended 1st day then on that nite i sprained my neck so bad i couldnt attend work the next day thus i was sacked, then i got a job doing data entry, and guess what, 1st day of work only b4 lunch time my in charge told me i'm not needed to fill up this position as the previous staff decides not to resign. Finally i was suppose to start work today, and i have to find out abt the shocking news that my wife was 2 timing me.
Wow, i stunned there for awhile, mind went blank not knowing what to write haha, i must admit this is a super big impact on me. Just as my heart has started to open up for a new relation which got me wanting to start a family, this kind of things have to happen again. 1st relation was also 3 yrs now its another 3 yrs, am i fated not to have any relationships for more than 3 yrs? I dont think i would be serious in any relation i get into now. i might not even wana be in 1 LOL. hey i'm not the kind of guy who cant live without girls. Definately not a chee hong kia hahah. really sick and tired of life, how i wish i could turn back to the time when i am still schooling. Life back then was so carefree, do what i want, go whereever i feel like, no responsibilities, no commitments, and the most impt of all, i dont get hurt by a broken relationship being 2 timed.
No no no, i;'m not thinking of ending my life, wah i'd really be stupid if i go do that liao. To me i dont get beaten down so easily, I've always known I do things to the extreme may it be good or bad, and when it comes to revenge LOLOLOLOLOL u really cant imagine what i'll actually do... Nobody can read my mind not even my mother. NObody knows what plans i make in my mind. But surprisingly this time i have no thoughts abt revenge. I somehow felt its really fated to end this way. No point blaming on any1.
Time to start a new chapter in my life. I've got to live a better life now. It her loss for choosing to 2 time me. Although I'm not the romantic kind of person that she wants, but at least i know i'm not the kind who is unfaithful to my partner once i'm committed to her. I just changed msn nick "I was ressurected from the grave. I shld make full use of my life from now on. *Evil Grin*" really best describes what i wana do now. Time to have some fun, but 1st i think i still have to shed off some fats haha. For her i made myself fat so she can look slim and pretty and i walk beside her, but now it shld be my turn to pamper myself. time for diets and workouts. =p
From this moment on, i shall declare, no other female species will ever make me change for her or sacrifice anything for her in any ways. Its my life and i'll live it in whatever ways i want to.
THIS IS MY BUSINESS AND ITS NON OF UR CONCERN.
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