I'm really surprised...

How on earth can 2 person be so similiar to each other in terms of charecter??? From the simpliest things like the sweet we like to eat and the type of music that we like, and also the way we like to dress. How can this be possible??? Initially i tot it was just pure luck that some of our favourites were similar, but after awhile we've discovered more and more of those.... now i'm really getting confused myself. Shall i concentrate my time on her, or just take it as a coincidence.....haix....myb i'll just 随缘 ba....

What a day =.=

Well today finally got to watch Enchanted, it was indeed a very nice show with a fairytale like ending. Somehow i really hope in real life theres really such thing as happily ever after. Too bad, the reality world is always cruel. The way the describe the human world in the show was very approperiate, its a world of sadness and theres no such thing as happily ever after. Somehow my day today was really crappy, initially wanted to go meet her at her workplace then go for dinner and show, but mum just spoiled my mood. Come back only for nth make so much noise =.= duno isit boss scold her or wat. haix...but lucky still managed to carry on with the plan for the dinner and show. I'm really gonna stop eating KFC for a long time.... after eating i think i get food poisoning lao sai until dehydrated =.=... what a day for me man. I'll just have to start hoping that i'll get better soon ba. This is even worse than having fever T_T at least fever can slp until u shiok, this 1 is any min can run to toilet.......arghhhhhh i go rest my tummy le... 去死吧KFC!

woo hoo

oh yea, recently had been very lucky, managed to find mayday's new song which is a chinese version of the hokkien song rubbish truck. sooo damn rock sia. Time for me to keep repeating the song over and over again liaoz~~~

Fun day~~

Went out to meet some HS5 frds today, those guys are fun man.... lol i finally found a good ktv kaki who sings the same type of songs as i do le...MayDay and Jay Chow!!!!!! Haha I had so much fun today disturbing them and joking around. Those who turned up was Damien, Rayz, Reyna, Hika and of cos me! Went to Mr Bean cafe at Selegie to lim kopi and chit chat abit but eventually we got bored so i suggested to go ktv. Wah Rayz damn on sia, the moment i say ktv he like suddenly become awake LOL another ktv siao. Damien, super shy type of guy lol but when it comes to his reputation, he becomes very very defensive lol, just like how i disturb him on how he flirts around in HS5 haha. Hika, she is Damien's friend, she came to meet us after her work.Didnt really get to know her much except that she knows how to bake cos she working at some confectionary like shop. Rayz leh, ktv siao, good voice, can sing very well and also a kaki i can jio for ktv sessions next time. Also quite a playful fella who jokes alot. Reyna.....this girl blur blur de. Meet her after work at sls for dinner at paradiz center. wah piang she actually wanted to walk back to bugis MRT and take to Dhoby Ghaut then walk back to paradiz lor!!!!!! i was shocked until i BWG. End up i showed her the way to walk there from sls, confirm faster than taking train =.=. describe her as adorable and cuddly haha. she's really shy when it comes to singing and keeps asking us to accompany her sing. but the fact is her voice actually is not bad 1, if she be abit more daring confirm sing very well.

Well after ktv, damien actually offered to send us home, but once out on the main road, i was too tired to direct him the way cos i cant really rmb well on how to get back to tpy also, then reyna, haix dun say le, she only knows the MRT route =.=. So end up i told damien to stop us at a taxi stand to take cab. Reyna was in a hurry to go home then cos her mum kpkb liao >< like somehow i 害了她. so i told her, its actually faster to take a cab than to go "holland". So, end of the day, i sent her home 1st then i go back home, wahh by the time i reach home alrdy si beh tired, but decided to blog this up cos it was a very fun meet up session =D.

PS: Hika said i look like 19 yrs old LOL happy sia!!!!

Errr Rey, if u reading this hor, i can tell u la, i know how to go ur place liaoz.

Will update the pics we took today when i get the pics from them =D


1st pic, group foto... more to come....

Life has finally gotten back to normal for me =D

Well at last after so long, things have started to go back to normal. My mind has not gone wondering and thinking of her everytime when i'm not being occupied with something to do. Could she be the reason y i've recovered? lol who knows. i think even without her appearence, life will still have to go on ba.

Wonder if i shld go for a haircut soon... my fringe is really getting on my nerves!! But the prob is i really cant think of any new hairstyle to cut zzzzz......kill meh~~~~ i cant go bald, i cant keep my hair longer, i dont wana just trim it, my hair looks kuku when its short ... OMG its such a pain!

Thursaday going to meet some HS5 frds at bugis... laaaaaaa kopiiiiii, tok kok.... this kinda activity like very long nvr go liao haha... wonder how will the others look like sia.. well just hope i'll remember to bring my cam along that day to take foto ba...

好可怕的恶梦

一个人生活的日子终于要结束了！！！ 再过两天我老妈就要从台湾回来咯。 这整个星期不是忙着赶工，就是忙着睡觉，上网的时间也减少了，这样的人生好无聊，前几天在街舞区认识了一个住在新加坡的日本妹，和她聊天时针不知道该笑还是哭。就因为她来新加坡不久所以英语不是很好，看她写出来的句子怪怪的。不知道为什么，我一点都对她没兴趣（看过照片了，超可爱的类型）。。。 可能是我真的想要与世隔绝了吧。外面所有的一切我都不想去听也不想要知道，更没兴趣去认识新朋友，这些东西还真麻烦，倒不如自己一个人过，想要做什么就做什么不是更好吗？ 现在有没有正式离婚以对我不重要了，有也是这样，没有也是这样，这一次的这个大问号我真的不想去管那么多了。

我看我接下来的日子应该不会常常来写我的部落格了。如果说人生如梦的话，那我应该是在做一场恶梦吧。。。我去“死”了。。 再见

赞！！！

终于看完终极一家了。我只能用一个字来形容，那就是“赞！”。挨了三天来看完五十五集是值得的。简直就是酷弊了。真希望会有第二集，看他们去金时空来拯救他们的分身。

昨天晚上也是我的新恋情的开始，现在的路我一定不能再错，要好好的把握。

大家有耳福咯。。。现在在播放的是汪东城在终极一家和东城卫一起演唱的在水一方摇滚版。超好听。慢慢欣赏吧。我现在要去看终极一班了。

讨厌。。。愤怒。。。为什么不能继续看！！！！！！！

“姑姑！” “呵。。。。。。。” 这两句话就是我现在在看的终极一家里杨过和小聋女每次出现的笑话。为什么是“聋”而不是“龙” 呢。。。你可要自己看你才会懂。这部长达五十五集的偶像剧可说是我看的那么多偶像剧里爆笑点数最高的一部。没有一集不会让你笑的。可惜的是我每天只能从凌晨两点看到隔天下午十二点，因为我的互联网烂到没话说。

下午十二点睡到七点多，起床了还是不能继续看真不爽，现在还在考虑要不要再去睡一下。。。今天她有上班，也不知道她下班后有没有和朋友出去，在电脑前这样的等她回家好像好傻。咳。。反正都习惯等那么多年了，和现在比起来又算什么呢。现在只好听听歌看看漫画耐性的等吧。

心情不错的一天

昨晚躺在床上翻滚了好久都睡不着，脑子里一值不停的回想昨天的约会。哈哈难道这就是所谓的“我又初恋了！”的那种感觉吗？

好想去楼下剪头发，但我原本想要剃光头的，我妈却坚持的反对。。。真搞不懂她为什么不让我剃光头。。。。我看啊，我还是快想个新发型比较好，头发越来越长好不舒服。今天又是无所事事，偶像剧也看得七七八八了，最近也不想玩网上游戏，真的好闷。看来我因该是从看恶作剧之吻了。这可是第一部偶像剧我会想要从看的哦。哎哟，我忘了今天要打扫房间。。。还是快去打扫，不然我妈又要啰哩叭嗦了。。。。。。。。。。。

爱我。。。非你莫属。。。

第一张照片像我吗？ =p



今天好开心哦！好久没这样的单独和她一起逛街了，开始见到她时都不知道要说什么，心里就是有一种说不出来的快乐心情。原本是约她出来吃晚餐和看电影的，可是因为我妈买回来的云吞面害得我连晚餐都吃不下，结果我们买了戏票后就到处逛逛。

逛不到一下，我们就走过一间洋娃娃店，而她就把我拉了进去。她在那看上了一只marshmellow man 的洋娃娃。起初看她那一副好想买的表情我就决定要买下来送她了，可是我便想到要戏弄她一下，我便对她说“你要买就买吧，我在外面等你。”后来她露出那失望的表情之后，我心理正在暗暗的偷笑。当我们走到楼下后我便去提款机提钱出来。然后就带她回那间店买下了那洋娃娃给她。没想到买个洋娃娃还有那么多东西要做。又要许愿，又要帮它取名。。。之后还有个出生纸。。。哈哈不过能看到她笑得那么开心，我心里也好开心。(其实我好想知道她到底许什么愿。）


看完戏后，原本是该回家了，可是我就是好不舍得那么快就合她分开，所以我就问她不如我们去东海岸散步。。。到了东海岸后，我们吹着海风边走边聊，在那一刻我真的好想停下来紧紧地抱着她，并且告诉她是否能再次让我和她一起份但她经济上的问题，可是我却知道是不可能的。我真的好害怕我说了之后，她会毫不犹豫的拒绝我，而就因为这样我在她身边慢慢的走道麦当劳。在那我喝了杯咖啡，而她就吃了一包薯条和一杯绿茶。我们聊到她吃完后便决定回家了。。当她问我要和她搭同个计程车时，我心里当然是想啊。。我便说了一些客套话就合她一起上车了。真的好希望那司机能开慢点，可是还是很快的就到她家了。好舍不得的心情。。。但我知道以后一定还有机会和她见面的。。。。

也许会。。。笑着哭。。。但那人是你所以。。。不怕苦。

爱。。。

爱就是该放的时候就要放。爱就是一心只要对方幸福，不管在她身边的人是不是你，只要她能得到幸福，你就要祝福她。人真的能爱到不爱的极点吗？不管我的心现在有多痛，我也要忍着，不能让她知道我是多么的思念着她。我这矛盾的心情连我自己都不能了解，更何况是旁人。。。在听这首“非你莫属”的时候，心里面真的有好多好多的感触。我会用这首歌的演奏版是因为有一部份是用箫来演奏的，而箫也是她最喜欢的乐器。我真的不能相信过了那么久了我一点都不能忘掉她。时间真的能让人忘掉一段感情吗？ 现在的我，好想好想对她说，“这一辈子能爱我的人，非你莫属了。”

不知道该写什么。。。

看了好几天的偶像剧，害得我现在连写都想用华语来写。。。在三四天里，我已把林依晨所演过的偶像剧都差不多看完了。 现在只差“我的秘密花园2”还没看。 自从我又开始看偶像剧后，我发现自己好像越来越容易被某些事或话而感动到掉泪。毕竟我人生里程经被伤的太深了，所以在看剧情的时候，偶尔也会想起某些事吧。

昨天晚上看到新闻报导说周杰伦明年在师城所举办的演唱会有人在票还没出售给公共，就在网络上拍卖了，而且第一天的票已经卖完了。我看啊，这都是OCBC害的。因为有他们的信用卡的话，就有优先权买票。自所谓的优先权就是说他们在两个星期前就买到票了。真是不公平。虽然举办单位有说要多开一场，但是我就是不爽。有那一个歌迷不想看第一天的演出的？那些卖黄牛的人也太过份了，明明自己不想看就不要跟其他想看演出的人抢票嘛。要赚钱也不用做到那么没人性吧！也不为别人着想一下。可能现在的人都变成了钱的奴隶，所以才变得没人性吧。还是不说了， 越说我就越气。

最近听到消息，恶作剧2，十一月二十五日在台湾播出，看来大概十二月份就应该可以买到光碟了吧。真的好期待看湘琴和植树婚后会有什么趣事发生。。。

是时候去看秘密花园2了，改天再聊吧。。。

MV time~~~

Today's MV muahaha.....










新射雕 preview.. Total of 50 episodes!!!! 14 months to film it in mongolia!!!! Looks like i will have to wait for quite long T_T

Thats all for today's MV ba.. going to watch Love Contract now.... ya correct also 林依晨 act 1.

Wake up pls.....

Watch too many dramas recently haha most of them is 林依晨 act 1... she's soo cute, not just in shows, she's natural adorable.... even without make up. Dun believe?? Take u look for urself....






Don't think in SG theres any girls as adorable as she is ba...

I'm currently waiting for her new drama, 射雕英雄传 2007, to be released in SG. She'll be acting as 黄蓉 and 胡歌 will be acting as 郭靖. Looks like its back to 天外飞仙 days.... I bet she'll be super cute in this remake of the series. Also waiting for 恶作据2 to be released. This 1 shld be very soon ba.

Arghhhh Y so slow to import!!!!!!

Went to haoting.com to search for new albums just now and saw Jay new release album!!!!!!! then go baidu but sooo sad only 1 song can be d/l-ed. So getting abit impatient to wait for d/l, i went down to TPY central and hunt for the CD in every single available cd shop there but non of them sell. CD Rama staff told me its not imported yet!!!! WTF Y so slow sia..... i guess these 2 days will be running to central very often liao =.= pek chek.

But nvm i come home go youtube find MTV hahaha and i found some of it. Heres my fav song for this album. Enjoy!



This next song is freaking cute lor, i totally dont see the old Jay in this song LOL

Lets take a walk back in time....

down memory lane and see some of the singers 10yrs+ back.....

范曉萱(Mavis Fan) 自言自語



This is a super classic MTV. He nvr changed much since the 80s =.=...


Another classic MTV... i wonder last time why i like him so much LOL now think back i wana laugh... his chinese really one of a kind!!


This 1 shld be around the early 90s i think. It used to be my fav when i started buying his albums.


I cant stop laughing while watching this. The starting of the mtv alrdy so biang, then see his hair lagi biang LOL!!


Handsome guy...


Our very own Superstar judge....


Ok have to stop here, Youtube is throwing tantrums at me alrdy. Loading so slow now...

Going Bonkers soon.....

Sian to the max... recently assignment so little, anime also watch until nothing to watch liao, worse thing is no new games to play!!!!! What to do to kill time now? With all these free time i'm having now, my mind tends to wonder alot, its so hard to stop it from wondering around thinking of the past.

Damn it, i feel so lost in directions of my life once i'm not busy with work. Everyday doing the same thing over and over again makes me feel like i'm a robot. Nothing interesting has happened to me.

Hope for something to happen soon now, myb house on fire or a robbery or myb a break in, anything exciting will do..... just hope ba....

MTVs

Some MTVs...

Cruel rainy days........

These few nights have been very bad for me cos its always raining heavily outside in the middle of the night while i'm rushing my stuffs. The rain drops damn noisy until i cant even concentrate on what i'm doing.Surprisingly i duno why, whenever it rains theres always a pain in my chest. Aver very sharp pain that lasts for about 5-10 mins. Wonder what could be wrong with me.... hope its some terminal disease so i can leave this world soon.

Finally see the fruits of my hard work coming in now. And i've been saving them up.Initially those money were to help somebody with her debts 1, but then since that somebody had stepped on my tail, i guess these money i can happily keep for myself le. Was thinking of going on a trip this yr end to somewhere far far away. The 1st place that came to my mind was to go Europe to relax myself, but for some unknown reasons, my mind kept telling me to go Paris and see the Eiffiel Tower for myself. Going there alone seems no fun. How nice would it be if this yr is 2006 instead of 2007, at least with another month's hard work i might be able to bring somebody else along with me for a week's tour there, but things have to turn out this way. Well i guess its just too bad.

Seriously the stupid weather really know how to choose time to rain, now when i got so much free time theres no rain, i was hoping it'd rain tonite so i can have a good slp, but hey, its just some bad luck i guess. I'm kinda used to having bad luck now. Ever since that fateful day, my luck hasnt been good.... my migrain came back suddenly and i get attacks from it everyday at least once. No point consulting a doc for this, they'll only give u more panadols to take.... Go TPY central walk walk on a sunny day, just reach the central, start to rain heavily... doing some work in the middle of the day, suddenly power trip and i have to restart the whole thing again.... bathing time forgot the heater is spoilt, on heater and got myself scalded... sleep in the morning around 7am and got woken up by brats downstairs fixing their bikes at 9am... at least on top of this i dun get and debt collectors calling me alrdy. I wonder if this bad luck will be with me for a long time, if it really does, then i'll have to prepare myself for the worse scenerio. Shall i start an insurance plan now? LOL i bet if louis knows i have this thinking he'll come to me with his sales talk =p

My mum will be leaving for taiwan very soon for a week, so i guess it'll only be me, myself and I for that week in this house. I'll definately feel lonely, for the past month at least i still have my mum to accompany me so i dont feel that lonely, but the coming trip of hers..... haiz duno how am i going to cope with the loneliness. Hope by then my mind wun be running wild. What could be worse than being lonely? I know, many ppl will say "No money" , but have u given a though abt this "so what if u have money but u r lonely?" I dun club, i dun drink, recently i dislike the thought of going out... so what am i suppose to do at home? PCC until die ah LOL.

Just now when i really got nth to do, i went back to visit my Hi5 account, sure does bring back lotsa memories, ahh those honeymoon days, so sweet... was smiling at the monitor while reading those testi she wrote for me at that time. Too bad all those r nth but lies LOL. ALL LIES!!!! So stupid of me to have believed those stuffs. _|_=.=_|_ 2 fingers up for those lies!!!

The hatrad in me is slowly subsiding, it could be due to the reason that i've not spoken to her for quite some time. Think this shld really be the best way for the both of us. Women..... they're such a mysterious living thing to men....when u're with them u find them a pain in the ass, but when they leave u, u start thinking of them. I wonder what kinda of witchery is that. Gonna stop writing now, go to youtube watch MTVs. Cya

Damn who needs 蔡依林 when we have her!

Seriously I've noticed this girl way b4 蔡依林 became popular. I think Jolin is just another replica or wannabe of this girl. Don't believe? Look at the vids. ( Loading might take some time to laod cos youtube is always crowded )Sweet voice, pretty face, hot body. What else can u ask for in a female artist? Could probably be 1 of the most perfect female artist ever. Whats more, i seldom hear of her 绯闻. Dont think she has any ba.

Something else b4 i forget....Section only meant specially for the biatch

I bet she removed me from friendster, MSN and even changed her blog site LOL, y do i say that? I just checked my email b4 going to slp and when i was checking my friend updates on friendster i found out i wasnt dierectly linked to her anymore, nice remove there biatch, MSN? so long didnt see her online too, for her pattern, its impossible that she wont bring her lappy to a nearby Mac to use, i purposely left my msn on for so long just to monitor this, and yup, shes not online all these while. Her blog site no more updates for so long, not even horoscope updates LOL cfm change site liao.

Confirm she buay tahan the way i keep suaning her during our last conversation on MSN until she have to do all this. Eh seriously biatch, if u have to do all this to avoid me, u're not worth any of my time to torture. Theres no kick torturing some1 mentally when all she knows what to do is to avoid here and there. Such a weakling who doesnt know how to fight back.

Oh i forgot to mention in my earlier blog that i actually saw her when i was at shing siong after buying all the food. Wow u are so god damn lucky that the rest of them are not around, if not u confirm duno where to hide ur face. Eh biatch, if u're gonna avoid me and not let me torture u mentally anymore, i think i'll have to get u to speed up the paper process. If u're not going to do it fast, i'll just go approach any lawyer myself to get the papers done and u'll have to be paying for whatever costs the lawyer charges. I'll be giving u only up to this month end to do this shit, but if u let me continue to torture u mentally, i might change my mind and let u delay until ur bonus. Think about it biatch, and remember this, i'm not some1 who can be easily be toyed around with. Don't u dare mess with me.

Fun @ Aloha

Aloha~~~

Thats the place where the 3 days chalet was at. so damn big sia the place. It has 4 huge rooms with a toilet in every room. B4 we went to check in, des,kelly, louis, serene and me went to Shing Siong Bedok Interchange to get the BBQ stuffs. While they were choosing what prawns to buy, i went to look at the big container of frogs, then after a while when i was talking to louis, a frog jumped out of the container. I told louis abt it and his face suddenly changed and he quickly asks us to move on. LOL i bet he's afraid of the frog =.=.Humster. The initial thought of BBQ to me was like the usual barbequeing chicken wings, and stuffs like that. This time things were different, des told us he brought along a deep fryer!!!! Wah 1st time i go BBQ with a deep fryer, so this means we have more varieties of food liao.

Finally checked in at the chalet at around 4pm. Checked out the place for awhile then started to prepare for the food for the BBQ. At around 8+ the BBQ began. i didnt eat quite alot cos there were alot of ppl there but most of them were just waiting for food to be served to them while they gambled. Our usual grp who wasn't gambling were either helping out with the cooking or playing beatmania 2DX on the ps2. I eventually joined them playing after cooking for awhile. Henry Lijie and clarence came quite late cos they had a war going on in GE but awhile after they arrived, MJ session started. Once MJ started, i duno whats happening around in the chalet only except whats on the MJ table..... Overnight MJ how i missed it..... even lose money also happy sia. Played until the 2nd day of chalet around 11am+. By then alot of them were awake liao. Most of them was watching some old SBC Drama (Can u tell how old the drama was when i said SBC?). Then louis just said, wahh its so rare to see so many friends gather on a Monday morning to watch old dramas on tv....

After des and a few of them came back with breakfast, des brought out his remote control helicopter which his sis bought for him for his bday to play at the back yard. In less than 5 mins, the copter got stuck in the tree =.= thats when des's mood started to change liao. Once our MJ ended i went to give des some help, when i saw the copter i was thinking, how the hell are we suppose to get it down sia..... i ended up throwing the soccer ball up into the tree hoping to knock down the copter. Haha in this scenario, des cracked up a joke that even until now i cant stopped laughing. During this big hoo haa, an auntie working at the chalet walked pass and ask des what was happening, des told her something was stuck in the tree. so the auntie asked " 你的什么东西在上面? 重要吗?" and des replied her "我的飞机在上面!!". After hearing this all of us burst out laughing including the auntie. It just sounded soooo very wrong sia. It sounded like my dick is up there =.= We eventually had 3 items stuck in the tree, the copter, a small water bottle which was used during the 1st attempt to hit the copter down, and a soccer ball. All the 3 items were being retrieved after des went to get some professional help LOL.

On the 2nd nite after cutting the cake for both des and serene i went to rest awhile and i fell aslp for 1 hour. Woke up myself suddenly and automatically walked to the living hall to watch the last episode of the TCS drama at 9pm. After the show, i accompanied louis to send serene home cos he kept saying he needed some1 to be there on his way back to keep him awake while driving... nbz i also not enuff slp sia but bo bian if dowan to die young, i die die also must keep us awake during the journey. We went to pick up Jon on the way back to the chalet. While waiting for Jon at Pasir Ris MRT, louis and me went to get some "outside" food. Both of us got real sick of hotdog, kani(crabstick) and prawns. Both of us didnt eat much chicken wings on the 1st nite. We settled down with buying "kong bah pau" at white sands. Wow it tasted damn good, real worth the money. When we got back to the chalet, Henry was alrdy cooking the food. That was the 1st time i ate chicken wing at BBQ. i finished most of the chicken wings cos they were practically all "chao tah", my fav!!

Round 2 of our MJ session started after i finished the food, at this point of time, i'm alrdy very tired and wanted so badly to slp, but i played anyway if not they will have nothing to do cos louis said he wants to slp and nobody else plays MJ. MJ without louis was very peaceful, not much noise not much crap and i bet those slping had lots of peace unlike the MJ session on the 1st nite LOL. But playing MJ without louis like not much fun cos his crap are what makes us laugh. We played until around 7am+ and i decided that i have to stop, my vision by then was alrdy starting spinning around, if dont stop sure faint. Louis took over my seat and continued playing until its time to check out. As for me i went to take a shower and fell aslp on the sofa in the living hall. During this 3 days chalet, i've alrdy calculated the hours i slpt....approximately 4 hours in 36 hours.

When i got back home at 12pm in the afternoon, all i did was throw my stuffs at 1 corner of my room, switched on my pc, and fall aslp on my bed. slpt until 8.30 pm and got woken up by my mum to eat my dinner. Went back to slp again after the 9pm TCS new Drama. woke up at around 2am to blog this entry b4 i forget anything. I bet i'll be going to slp again soon.... cos my eyes alrdy half close by the time i type until here. Yah i think i'll go slp again now, cya .


P.S. Where got ppl go chalet play soccer 1? Where got ppl go chalet rollerblade 1? Bring shoe and my blades end up only put there for show cos i where got time for those??? LOL

Been a long time.....

since i go orchard liao. Been hiding in my house for soo long until i feel so wierd taking the train. Well went out for a movie with ah gay and the usual gay grp, watched Mr Woodcock. Not as good as i expected actually. Not much laughter, myb its just becos of my mood ba. Duno y today go out so moody, i wonder what has gotten into me today. They were enjoying their jokes among themselves while i could only laugh at certain of their jokes while the rest of the time my mind was wondering around somewhere out there. I didnt notice this until ah gay asked me how come i look so dulan. Kinda wierd cos i wasnt dulan at all, i just didnt know y i dont have any mood to do anything.

Weiwei as usual was busy with girls until he come late for the show, not surprising to us but he got a big nagging session from me and david after the show, hmmm more of a making fun of him session ba. Anyway its good to know he has found a new target.

Tmr is going to be chalet with des and the rest of the east boys, suddenly i somehow felt the whole PS grp is splitting apart. We all have gotten into smaller grps, as for me, well i'm not being outcasted in any of these 2 grps but its really difficult sometimes when i'm with 1 grp and some1 from the other calls up and ask me where i am. I think the best thing to now is to let mature takes its course ba. I really hope someday the 2 grp will somehow or rather be like the old times.

I can feel david today isnt really enjoying himself much, cos he doesnt talk much, myb becos he's sick ba, or myb becos all their conversation was abt gaming. Anyway gonna go pack some stuffs for the chalet tmr now, wun be blogging for 3 days. Cya all 3 days later when i'm back.

Ciao~~

Wee~~~ Nice songs

Just When i Needed You Most ---- Supposed to be an english song, then while seaching for 品冠 version of the this song, i stumbled across this version. Listen 1 time liked it immediately. Although 潘帅 version is in his 1st album 的 but still this version just brings out the livelier version for this song. Wana know what the lyrics are? Go search in the webby i update myself with new songs ba.

The next 4 songs are all in 张震岳 new album called OK.

小宇 --- I like this song cos the music very soothing. Lyrics kinda cute also.

OK --- This is his album's 主打歌. This song power la. Just shows exactly how i feel now. i specially liked 1 verse. It goes 我可不想装的很可悲 好让人家来给我安慰. I'm not like some ppl out there who act pitiful to win other ppl's wife's heart. This kind of man is a total disgrace to all men in the world. The song is more of a rap so not many ppl will like it but if u read the lyrics while listening to the song, this song is actually very meaningful.

路口 --- This song hmm duno how to say sia. Its how i felt initially when the incident happened. Supposed to be a sad song for those who have a bad relationship but then i hear until 1 part i burst out laughing. It goes 我不想在走 去你妈的 路口... get it? LOL

就让这首歌 --- This song quite cute, half singing half rapping. Singing is done by 张震岳 and the rapping is done by 2 ppl. 1st part is by MC Hotdog ( His rap damn power ) , the 2nd part is done by Jay's ex gf 侯佩岑. I liked the part that MC rapped especially this part 电影散场之后 你是否留下什么 一切不难再重头 那感伤对画面说 这决定变得轻松 .

Well the last song in the list is my all time fav song lor. Chio bu sing 1.

Overall 张震岳 new album i find it kinda good. I don't usually listen to his songs previously but then this album really has lots of good songs. Shld be worth the money to buy.

Good day, Good Lunch, Good Luck

Today seems to be a good day for me, duno y i woke up feeling happy, even though i slept for only less than 5 hours. Was chatting on the fone until 6.30 am this morning and woke up at 11+am then went back to slp until 1.30pm lol. When i woke up, my mind seemed so clear and empty, i couldnt find anything that will piss me off. I was shocked!!! After so long i was finally able to get myself pissed off early in the morning by thinking of the hurt she has caused in me.

Had a good lunch today too. The food at the usual Economic rice stall tasted exceptionally good today. Everything on my plate was so tasty, even the rice tasted sweet. Met up David and Fel at tpy for lunch. Actually last nite when i asked david to come for lunch i alrdy told him its ok if he wants to ask Fel along cos she's also working nearby. I'm not the kind of person who hates ppl when they have done nothing wrong to me. But i told david that if she actually dun really feel like seeing me i'm fine with it too, at most we meet some other time for lunch lor, not as if today my last day on earth =p.

As usual those 2 jokers keep suaning each other while eating lor. Sometimes i wonder, they really make a good pair LOL JK NIA. That Fel hor i seriously BTH her, Pls do not tell ppl u working at TPY next time hor, u shld know y la hor =p. Anyway after lunch and some talk kok sessions, david and i went to pa billiard at TPY, and as usual i lose to him lor. Dun feel sian when i lost him cos its normal. He too power liao la. Actually wanted to walk with him to the interchange after we finish our game 1, but my tummy 不听话, need to go do 大号, so bo bian lor i have to faster go home. Finish updating this have to go do assignment liao, haiz how i wish i could slack down abit now but canot sia, Sunday is Desmond and Serene's Bday, have to think of what present to get for them liao. haiyo really headache. I bet Sunday's chalet will be full of laughters. With Henry and Louis around, its hard not to laugh. Looking forward to it man. Still got 2 more days =.= impatient !!!!!!!!

I also wana wish myself good luck in handling my new found personality, i had some quiet time thinking last nite, and my actions really scares me. Even previously i used to hate lots of things, i would only merely pass some bad comments and stop. I would never think of doing or saying nasty things in front of them cos i didnt want the person to look or feel embarressed in front of so many ppl. But now i really changed into another person, my words have became my weapon, i would say the nastiest things to hurt her yet not feeling any guilt at all. Is this the real me? On the other hand when i did that i felt kinda good, i felt happy, i never felt this good in my life b4.
I kept asking myself, do i really need to see a person suffer then i can be happy? The word yes keep appearing b4 me when i asked myself that. So i guess thats it, i'm being possessed by the Devil. Since this is my fate, I'll accept it. Since this is what i have to do to be happy, i shall not let myself down. The only time i will ever shed another tear will be the day my mother pass away.
It could be possible that even if i'm being shot in the heart i believe the bullet will not penetrate it, cos its all hardened up now. Nothing in the whole world will be able to open it again. Want me to open up my heart? I'll teach u how. Just show me your own heart 1st, dig it out and show me if its black or red. Or u dont even have 1 to show in the 1st place. Only then i'll believe u that u're not lying to me and only then i'll start to trust u.
( Dont so BHB this sentence is not for U, this sentence is for other strangers whom just in case have a chance to step into my life in future. Nothing in this entry is written for u).

Ok assignment time. cya

Yes I'm beginning to love my new found personality

What a great start with my new found personality. I finally realised Y so many ppl choose to hurt other ppl. Its really fun and enjoyable to know that certain things that u have said will cause hurt to another person.

I've taken my 1st step out, so theres no turning back now. Well she just told me the god damned biggest joke i ever heard. She said she go clubbing and drinking becos of me!!! LOL I never did encourage her to club or to drink and she says shes doing all those tihng bcos of me.. lol i couldnt stop laffing at this. Since she had wanted so badly to get away from me, why would she be doing all those? Prolly its due to being too happy so she had to drink and go club so she can flirt with more guys. Yesterday she drink until throw up leh... LOL pathetic! how i wished i was there to mock at her. but doesnt make a difference since she told me she threw up. but i'm not satisfied with only just that. Its not enuff to make me happy to cover up the emotional torture she have given me. NO nothing will be enuff. She told me to give her a call just now to quarrel , and i told her no cos i didnt want my ears to bleed LOL. I cant believe these words actually came out from me hahaha. She even threatened that i'll never hear her voice from now on again. She starts to assume again that i wanted her to die.... wah she really canot change sia. Who said i wanted her to die? I want her to carry on living, and living in misery. I hope she can live a super long life setting the guiness world record for the longest living human being on earth. This way she will be able to see all her friends and family die 1 by 1 in front of her. She better not die so fast. Death will not satisfy me. I want her to live her life in such misery that she cant even take her own life even if she wanted to. Seriously i hope some guy gets her pregnant now and break off with her not wanting to take any responsibilities. Can some1 do me this favour and hurt her this way? then when she's going to give birth the baby dies while in the delivery room. Ohhh she'll be so shattered and hurt. Myb even cry until eyes blind. Hahaha. I wish somebody wil just treat her the same way she played with me. Come on guys buck up abit, she's an easy fish to catch, all u need to have is money. She loves money. Just do me a favour and go hurt her.

I remembered her asking me this " u think in the past 3 yrs i've nvr loved u b4?". Well my answer to u is YES U NVR DID. All these while ur mind was with chatting with guys in msn and getting to know more guys. Even when u r with me, ur mind will be thinking abt other guys. I dont trust women now. They're such fakes. No wonder they need to wear make up. its to cover their ugly side. Oh Devil can u make this biatch suffer but pls do not take her life away so soon. Death is letting her off too easily. Pls grant me this wish.

She said she'll get the papers rdy asap and when i asked when, she said when she gets her bonus. LOL u guys know when her bonus is? May next yr leh. Which means i have 7 more months to enjoy myself. Watch ur step, 1 wrong move from u, i can make sure u'll regret it for ur whole miserable life.

i have to really apologise to my frd David over here cos during the conversation, i somehow dragged u into the picture. Cos i heard from her that u have regained ur single status too, so i told her that myb she can even consider abt starting a r/s with ya. Well by saying this i'm actually trying to tell her what a slut she is, cos Mr Jimmy Hui was also out of r/s and thats when she become his listening ear and thats how they started. So given the fact that she's such a slut, she can be ur listening ear and myb hook u up. So sorry david. Listening ear my ass lol. That guy has so many frds so y does he have to approach u? This is a good method to steal other ppl's wife or gf. Guys out there must start learning. myb i shld get to know this shithead more and learn a few tricks from him so i can start going out there breaking other ppl's family up.

End of the day i can only tell myself. As long as she suffers, I'll be so damn happy.

Somehow i think i have 6th sense... is the Devil really on my side?

Made a call to her to check if she has found any lawyers to prepare our papers, and like i've predicted she's still ourside. See i know even without internet, she'll still have ways to entertain herself. Told her to go check HoH cos a frd told me the prices there are much cheaper and also told her to do it asap. I really feel the devil in me slowly emerging, it felt kinda good to be a bad guy. I dun have to think of any1's feelings and just do whatever i like. Whats the point of thinking so much when they dun appreciate it when u consider abt their feelings? No1 ever considered abt my feelings apart from my mum. No1 ever know how i felt during these time, how much i've endured, how many sleepless nites, how much falling down and picking myself back up again.All they know is to point their fingers at me even when i've done nth wrong. Since these ppl see me as this way, i might as well be they way they see me as. At least this will make me feel better cos i really am like that.

She says i've broken my promise again to help, then so be it, whats so great abt breaking 1 more promise? I'll break it. She says i'm being lazy again after we split up whereby i'm trying to work hard, well so be it i'll be lazy like what she said. Since whatever things that i do are wrong, then i might as well keep doing things that are wrong.She said the reason for me trying to win her back is becos i wanted revenge, well if thats how she sees it as then i shall do it, but i'm not going to win her heart back, i'm gonna take revengeby not laying a finger finger on her. No reason out there for me to be a good guy anymore. I've just had a taste of being a bad guy and i kinda enjoyed it. During the past 3 yrs, she knows i cant open up my heart fully to another girl due to my previous relationship. Yes she gave me hopes, she assured me over and over again that she'll not be like that. And when i finally opened up my heart fully to her, she deceived me, she betrayed me, she's toying with me. Now she says that i'm trying to get back together with her again cos i wanted revenge. If thats the way she sees me, then thats the way i shall do it, BUT i'll nvr go back to her side to take my revenge. I'll have my revenge without even laying a single finger on her. I'm gonna enjoy every single moment of this. No wonder ppl always say revenge is sweet. Now i know, it really is very sweet. Well I'm gonna just do all these things as not to let u down on how u see me as. U are so very true that i'm still lazy, i like to break my promise, and yes i wanted revenge on u allllllll this time. i dun even give a damn how ur frd thinks i am, what r they? they're nth but a bunch of animals who teaches u to betray ur husband. They're nth but lowlives animals who thinks highly of themselves but are actually a piece of shit in reality. Oh btw, u better stop going for so much supper or drinking or eating too much. cos u'll soon grow fat and when u're fat, u'll start to lose ur queue of guys who wana flirt with u, and eventually u'll have no more attention from guys. In the meantime, myb u can get 1 of those guys in ur queue to pay for ur internet bills 1st. Just open ur mouth, believe me, they'll fork out the money in less that a day to help u. U dun even have to pay them back, cos to a guy who wants to go after u, that little amount of money they still can treat it as investment for a good time. Am i hurting u with what i've just said??? AWWWWW too bad, cos thats how u show me of what kind of a person u really are. AWWWW dont even shed a tear now, those tears mean nth to me, crocodile tears......... U wana know how hard my heart is now? Remove the head of the BIG hammer at ur house, get 1 of ur guy "friend" to throw throw it on the floor of the coridor outside ur house with all his strength. Thats how hard my heart is now.

Pray to God to give u courage to die? i'd rather submit myself to the Devil and make other ppl suffer more than i do. Not many ppl see eye to eye with my doings, but i dun care, its my business so y shld u even bother? I LOVE MY LIFE NOW. So much hatred... everything in me is HATE, ANGER, REVENGE. I'm only happy when i see ppl suffer now. U want me to be happy? Then make sure u suffer. U want to battle me in this emotional duel? Then live a better life and let me know, i'll feel devasted if i know u're not suffering enough. I'll make sure u remember me for the rest of ur life in the bad ways and not the good ways.

Ppl say "If u are good in ur life, u go to heaven when u die, but if u're bad u go to hell."

I think i rather go to hell than going to heaven. Have u ever heard of smoking and drinking in heaven? Have u ever heard of strip clubs in heaven? Have u ever heard of sex in heaven? Of cos not, they are all too goody 2 shoes to even do all this. SO called have to be upright and behold justice, MY ASS. Hell isnt that bad, at least everything thats illegal here or considered a bad thing to do while being alive, u get them in hell. Y make myself suffer in heaven? Aint it better to enjoy my afterlife?

Relieved? Released? or just Remorse?

Received a call from her this afternoon, at 1st i couldnt reco her voice mistaking it for xue. She was talking softly and patiently to me over the fone, but somehow i just couldnt control my anger when i hear her voice. Scenes of being accused and betrayed started floating back to my memories again. I was really burning inside. Although i was woken up from my slp by her, i could remember clearly what i told her over the fone. I really mean it when i said those words. I'm just too hurt to deceive myself anymore. Despite trying to pick myself up again trying to win her back, she, again shattered my hopes by accusing me. I've been totally beaten up by her. Today was the day i really couldnt take it anymore, i spoke up my feelings abt how she have hurt me, i told her how much i hated her after the accusation made by her, after that i fell back to slp with a few drop of tears in my eyes. Soon after i woke up feeling lighter... No not my weight of cos, but its my heart that felt lighter. somehow i think by keeping all those words to myself have made me depressed for so long. I somehow felt i was released from her torture chamber. Then on the other hand i was in dillema, have i spoken too harsh to her when she was trying to be nice to me?

When she told me that her house internet was cut off, the 1st thing that actually came to my mind was..."So what? u sure have ur ways to entertain urself... so many guys are waiting to date u, u can afford to change a different guy everyday for at least a month.And i believe those guys will be so willing to pay for whatever the expenses for the day" My gosh, in my mind is she really such a slut? Or do i actually think of all women this way? Such confusions, what has turned me into such monster? But end of the day, i'm still me. Whatever problems u have, it doesnt concerns me, so dont ever make ur problems mine. ( this phrase goes out to everybody not just to u so dont u start ASSUMING that its for u only)

Rushing assignment for the whole day today, no time to log in PW to rush my last 2 lvls. Thought that assignment can finish fast but ended up after reading its contents i found out its going to be a long day for me. Called gary up and asked him to lvl for me 1st but he also rushing his own charecter.. then left 1 person to call liao. When i called her, she was still slping. LOL her voice still so sexy when she just woke up LOLOLOLOLOL. Thats how we always disturb her =p
This person is none other than xiaoxue lor. Ask her to help me lvl a few % for me b4 i can log in again. I believe she wun dua me ba. No matter what also soo long frd liao, at least got 10% i also happy.

Now at the present moment i'm updating this, i felt much relieved and less depressed cos i know when somethings are meant to be ended, it has to end. I've got to stop deceiving myself.

对方是谁， 应该很帅， 我有点累， 祝福你有他陪。。。

Love turned hate........

Yea WTF is all i can say now. Work so hard for fcuk? End up still kena accuse of breaking my promise. Everything turned out to be shit just becos ppl cant get me on my mobile. I DID tell her if she cant get me on mobile she can call my house =.= which she have. Well myb my number is just not worth remembering.

After reading her blog today really saddens me. As usual i'm being accused over and over again. Said that i blocked her on msn, dont reply smses blah blah blah. Whereby my house fone is always there for her to contact me. Is it even wrong if some1 is too busy to even log in msn for a long period of time? Is it wrong that a person doesnt have enuff cash to top up his M card value? i did not top up my M card cos i think its pretty useless cos ppl can actually contact me via my house fone. and also i'm so used to going without a fone ( not like somebody else who cant live with her fone with all the guys number inside for her flirt). I have my own debts like i told her. I've got to settle my piling debts for over 3 yrs 1st, i've also told her. Now i'm being shot again by her saying that i'm just going back to my old ways not keeping my promise.. Life is so unfair.
Women always get things their way whereby men are always at the losing end. Other ppl always tend to side the women rather than the men. Y are human beings so blind?

I believe no1 like to be accused. but me? so what if i dont like it? i've been accused over and over again for the past yrs... and i have to quietly swollow them down. Life sux and so do u. Never get to the bottom of things and start assuming. Love turned hate, theres nothing more in me other than hate. the hatred for women, the hatred for life, the hatred for love. I wonder who was the 1 who blocked me from her msn in the 1st place... i went in msn today and tried to msg her yet in the end i got a pop up msg asking for her email address... lol what a joke. block u? i think its more like u block me out instead. Well i think it could be she's with some other guy in the room and trying to prove to him him that she will not flirt around anymore. Well bullshit. A leopard will nr change its spots. U do it once , u do it twice.

Leave me alone~~~

How i really hope all these nitemares will leave me alone for good. For the past 1 week I've not been slping very well, partly its due to my gaming hours but also it was caused by constant nitemares. Been having repeated nitemares of the same scenerio but only at different places. Am i gonna just fall to these nitemares and let it control me?

Somehow i found myself kinda sensitive to certain words that ppl say recently. Like today when gaming, our guild topic suddenly somehow i forgot how it started, landed on hotels. Some1 happened to mention Ritz, and i just told them to stop the topic cos i hate these words. A few of my close friends know whats going on so they did eventually stopped. Felt like a spoilt sport at that moment and i somehow have to think of some other things to start up the guild talking again. Its already been so long and even such simple things like that i cant even let go. How is my life going to go on?

Been a long time since i had "Liang teh" and my mum specially went to the market early today to get some barley back to make barley water for me to drink. She keeps saying the weather is hot and she wants to drink it too, but i know she's making the whole pot for me. Why i said that? Well she poured the whole pot of barley into my personal use bottle and kept it in the fridge for me, and she even kept the wintermelons and put them in the fridge to chill them for me to eat as snack. How i missed this kind of motherly care. For the past 3 yrs, i don't feel like i'm being accepted as part of the family at all. I shld be somehow glad that i made this decision to leave that place. Mummy's boy? No of cos not. Only those ppl who have stayed alone overseas without ur family will know what kind of feeling this is that i'm experiencing right now. It something called Family love. My mum even offered to get dinner for me cos she knows i'm tired to go downstairs again to buy my own dinner. ( Was running errands today for my mum for the whole day). I only told her to get rice for me but she came back with extra desserts too. Thx mom. I love you.

Shall i try not slpin at all today so that i can get some slp without having any dreams tmr? Will this method work somehow? But i'm alrdy too tired to keep myself awake... its alrdy been a long time since i fell aslp on my keyboard, it just happened recently =.=/ Freaking lack of slp is killing me. How i wanted to slp early but i'm too afraid to have the same nitemare again. Now even gaming can't help me divert my attention and let me forget my unhappiness. I'm such a failure, i can't even find a suitable solution for myself.... somebody pls tell me what to do??? I'm really at lost.

Dont know why but i just like this song

The singer was 15 when she sang this song i think, the song was in her debut album back in 2002. Very nice voice. The song rhythem kinda retro lol but funny thing is after listening to it once the music kept playing in my mind liao. Here's the lyrics

津亭 - 寂寞的味道

天色已晚已经黄昏又要分离
走在大街的你我
相互依偎　手牵着手
站在分手的街头
双手轻轻　整理你的衣领
对你如此的留恋
在双眼中　化成了泪滴

寂寞的味道 是夜里痴恋你的温柔
微苦的爱　微甜的吻
抚摸着自己
寂寞的味道 沉浸在思念的温柔
微酸的心　在漫长夜里 等待


Theres another song I've included. This is my all time favourite. Still remembered the 1st time i heard this song was at Jay's 1st concert in Singapore. She was the special guest star for that concert and also Jay's 师妹. The moment i heard this song i loved it immediately.She's also 1 of the more popular TCS actress now. Heres the lyrics...

芮恩--是谁

这场雪隔着橱窗了解
玻璃外面的你在另一个世界
这条街握着温热咖啡
想起有些事永远没办法解决

我用那轻描淡写
一笔一划的彩绘
形容感情上濒临的决裂还有心碎

问你对方是谁
你闭上嘴沉默以对
我眼睛泛着泪
对方是谁应该很美
我有点累祝福你有她陪

那绿叶不懂凋谢的季节
我却清楚你要分手前的差别
那夏夜不懂得满天风雪
我也不懂你说的永远是哪些

Think i've seen this scene somewhere b4....

Extracted from someplace on the internet, written by somebody "mysterious"

"Imagine this, guys.When you are holding her today, and you cheat on her by hugging and kissing another gal.And then you run back to her.And u do the same.But you see love in her eyes.What do you think?Do you feel the hurt?Can you feel the guilt?"


Now, lets replace the words from guys to girls, from him to her, and from her to him, from he to she and she to he. Whats is it that u see? Thats the life i was living for the last week in the bedok flat together with her. Guilt or no guilt no1 knows. For all i know, she may be even lying to me that she felt guilty. I dont have x ray eyes to tell if some1 is lying or not but 1 thing i can be sure of is that i was indeed fooled by her for almost 4yrs.

Reading all these romance stuffs and watching all those those lovey dovey shows on tv or movies kinda makes me wana puke now. All those are nothing but bullshit. Do u really think if u stay true to some1, the other person will do the same? OMG stop being a fool like me. More women cheat on their other half as of compared to men. Dont believe me? Google it! the answers are all there for ya.

Small small Singapore

Hmm i wonder if its pure coincidence or fate, this is the 2nd time i bumped into an old schoolmate of mine. 1st time was in IRC which was many yrs back, and this time it was in an online game. During these period of time we do bump into each other outside a few times, well the funny thing is everytime she gives me her mobile number i will save it in my fonebook but erase it when i'm home. Well i think this is a small little thing i always do when i'm attached ba. Anyway Don't get the wrong idea, this frd of mine is alrdy married, we're only purely frds.

Seriously duno y when i so wanted to see somebody i dont get to see them, but when this person is some1 i dont usually think of i get to see them... Fucking God is playing with my life. I guess tonite will be another miserable nite for me ba. How long more do i have to force myself to be happy instead of being really happy? 1 month? 1 yr? or my whole life? If there really was a God i would really go up to him and give him a piece of my mind. He's not doing such a good job and handling with us mortals. how many of us have suffered and he just sits back and relax enjoying our tragedy. Could he be a noob God who has just taken over the job? Whats the point of praying? whats the point of saying prayers? whats the whole damn point to believe in Hiim? I'd rather he take my life than to play me like a puppet right now. Back to rush lvl, i'm running out of time.

Fuck my life.

:~(

Its so hard for me to convince myself that i'm leading a better life now. I cant even lie to myself that i'd be better off without her... i really think i cant have any silent moment without me having to think of her, i have to keep myself so busy that when i lie on my bed i must fall aslp within a few secs. How much longer is this going to last?

“遇到爱情的人，要好好的珍稀。因为这是不长发生的事。”

This is an abstract from the show 星锁. This phrase is really meaningful. Love doesn't happen to a person often. Yet when it happens we just take it for granted and never cherish it. Only when u lose it then thats the time when we start regretting. 27 yrs of my life, minus off the 1st 13 yrs which leave 14 yrs of my life when i start to know what love is, true love only came to me twice, and both times i did not grab hold of it and treasure it, i wonder if cupid will give me a last chance to let me have my true love back.

Why is it coming back????

Bewn so long since the both of us last met each other, i tot i have gotten her off my mind alrdy, but i'm so very wrong. I guess the more u want to get some1 out of ur mind, the more u remember it. Can't seem to do anything right today, so many mistakes i've made.

This afternoon was raining damn heavily over here, and the thunder was so damn loud and it was banging non stop. Instead of rushing to close the windows, i just sat on my chair and started to think of her, she's always afraid of the thunder claps, and today's thunder was very very loud. I was worried she would cry hearing it, i was worried will there be any1 around her to calm her down...suddenly all my thoughts were filled with her. Feeling is sooo terrible for me. I tried to divert my attention by relaxing myself playing some games but i just couldnt concentrate on what i'm doing, freaking mistakes i made in the game was something that could not have happened if i was in the right state of my mind.

Feeling so cold now, i wonder if i'm having a fever, there seem to have alot of mosquitoes appearing in my flat recently, could it be dangue? Well i certainly hope so, at least i could leave this world soon without me trying to end my own life due to all these unbearable emotional setbacks.

Just read her blog too, well, from what she wrote there i guess she could only remember so much abt what i've given her, i really somehow felt that i'm just a passerby in her life right now, some1 who is not even worth to remember, miserable is how i'm feeling right now. Already 1 month, and i finally found out my status in her heart for the past 3 yrs. Screw it, i've invested 3 yrs of my life to torture myself in agony for the rest of my life. Investment gone very wrong.
I used to ask ppl why do they pay $4 for a bowl of super spicy dry noodles to torture themselves, and now i have to ask myself why did i spend 3 yrs investing in something which will torture me for the rest of my life?

Gary bird day!!!!

Woooo, had a good time today. Its the gay boy's bday!!! It wasnt really a big affair, more like a simple meet up session.

We had "lunch" at Ichiban Sushi at PS, from 2 combined tables, we ended up having 4 tables combined =.= and i was sitting right at the corner inside beside the wall..... its been a long time since i visited that restaurant. Still remembered the 1st day i met her i brought her to Ichiban Boshi for dinner with gary.... same company lol. Food there was great, but i just dont know why when i stepped in that restaurant i couldnt stop thinking abt her... damn it, i wish Andy Lau would really gimme some 望情水... anyway gary cracked up 1 of his broken english jokes today again... when he saw Alex brought a cake for him, he just said, @aiya later after food i will BLOW THE CAKE!!!!!!!!" Wah kao, i only know ppl blow out the candles on the cake but i didnt know he so power can blow the whole cake!!! Took some shots for him while he's blowing his cake and 1 of it looks retarded LOL.

After food we went over to cathy to catch a movie, and while waiting for the show we went to E2Max for some gaming sessions. Guess what, we played CS!!! OMG that was like sooooooo ancient to me liao. Became a free frag today. Well, those guys came up with all sorts of funny nicknames like Mingxiong's nick was My pen is huge, and then the rest started changing to the My pen nick. We had My pen is full on inc, My pen is overflowing with ink, My pen is high quality, and the last 1 i could rmb was My fren Gary has a small pen.. lol

The movie was god damn funny, couldnt stop laughing truout the whole show. there was 1 part where i was trying to swollow my saliva then it was so funny that i burst out laughing spitting out my saliva to the front >< lucky got no1 infront haha. The whole show is abt 2 straight guys getting married pretending to be gays, and it was weiwei who wanted to watch the show, haha and i just kept disturbing him abt him finally admitting that he's gay. I also learnt something from the show, "faggot" is a bad word, and it really hurts ppl who a gay to be called faggots. Sometimes we do need to think of other persons feelings when we call them names, but if its among some friends who are close and they know u dun mean it, its still ok, cos thats the way guys bond. We dont go around calling another guy hey sweetheart like some girls do, we use nicknames as a form of our mutual bondings.

Anyway, pls do remember this, stop calling a gay a faggot. Show them some respect. If u wan some1 to respect u, u gotta respect them 1st. Gonna go bath now. Warcraft later woohooo....

Gone were the good ol' days.......

Pretty much miss the late teens to early twenties era of my life, that i shld say was the most happening lifestyle of my life. Where shld i start? Well it all have to be when i started to play DDR when it 1st came out, it was when i got damn addicted to it and started knowing ppl from all walks of life who plays this too. And those ppl, are the closest friends to me now. I can say, we have actually gone tru lots of stuffs together, the good and the bad and even the nasty.

They would skip class, tutorials, lesson, work, and some other stuffs and we would just meet up at PS just to hang out. The funny thing is we can even stay overnight outside who the whole nite sia... i wonder what were we actually thinking abt that time =.=.

Clubbing was also 1 of our nite activities. I still rmb the time when we started going Sparks at Taka, so damn happening. We go until there was a period of time, whereever we walked inside sparks, we would see ppl we know. Well, as u shld know fights often occur in clubs or discos, and definately its almost happening every weekend at sparks. We were involved in 1 or 2 of the incidents but it didnt really break out into a fight in the end.

During those days, i was still in the army, and i rmb this particular bday of mine which i was officially introduced to the world of "fun". It was my 20th bday on that day, i remembered going to a pub at boat quay called exclusive. Ah beng pub of that time. and i saw my camp SGT there drinking alone. So i went up chatted abit, and told him it was my bday. Well here comes the big present.... he told me "wahhh last min then tell me i nvr prepare any present for u... but nvm take this ( he passed me a small pack of Marlboros and asked me to go to the toilet to see whats inside. So i went to the toilet with my gay buddy gary to take a peek, it was 4 pills of extacy. woah... i wasnt prepared for this at all and during that time each pill costs around 25-30 bucks and he's giving 4 to me for free... OMG thats around $120 as a present and i'm not really close to him. Well i was a freaking curious yet rebelious kid at that time, so the more i know it breaks the law, the more i'm gonna do it and 2 pills got into my mouth. My lifestyle after that 2 pills changed completely. I started sourcing out for more fun pills, and some other stuffs to go together with it to make the kick last longer. Everything went upside down for me. Couldnt even have a good conversation with my parents and i get irritated easily.

Chup pai kia??? yea of cos i was 1 of those during that time. but i didnt stay for long. cos the group of frds i have are really those that we handle things ourselves together. we dont need those numbers. All we need to know is how to make the other party eat back their own words and there u go, we have every reason to give them a good wallop. and most of the time we would be very agressive in our words. Poly students, and some guys who come from good school who speaks good english ( except for gary even up till now ), it not hard for us to play with their words. Still rmb PS was so call our hangout place. u know like those peninsula kids, well we're more or less like them but in a diff location.

The ridiculous part in our grp is that, some of their gf were being passed around the group like a ball passing from 1 to another. haix guys.... i bet that was damn fun =p cos i wasnt really interested in it.

As our grp grew up, we of cos became more sensible in some ways, each have our own paths to walk, but we still keep in contact once in awhile for a gathering. I really miss those days. Ppl become more sensible after they have gone tru and experience those bad stuffs themselves and eventually will turn out to be a better person. Thats y i always tell myself, if i ever have a son or daughter in future, i wont mind him or her to turn into a rotten apple, cos they will have to know whats it like to be in there in order to learn things the hard way. The more u force a kid to obey, the more rebellious the kid will be, this is a fact and nothing can change this fact. But in my life, i do know of a big kid who's old enough to think yet acts like a kid. Well, i think this kid will have to start taking lessons from now onwards. This is a tough road to take kid, u learn from it, u graduate, u get controlled by it, u're as good as dead. Good luck kiddo.

Healthy lifestyle???

Finally went blading with them, and finally no1 put aeroplane haha. Fun day today had lots of laughs and suaning session.

I was kinda surprise cos weiwei actually went there earlier than our meeting time sia... i told gary must be meet girls there if not he wont so early 1 LOL and i'm right =p. But he damn hum lor always keep his balls at home =.= ask ppl come out nvr go accompany her put her 1 side blade with her frd....

Anyway as usual today gary is our entertainment...he managed to crack up 4 joke lines for each of us to put in our msn to change our nick =x Well i could only remember 2 of them,

1) he was saying to raymond : "Your car put so many SISSY( CC ) for what???

2) How do u pronounce the word "Touting"? and he replied " Touting lor" he said it as eavesdropping =p

Another joke was came up by alex haha this 1 i canot say out, so next time ppl ask me that qns i will cfm execute what the person asked =p.

Time for to go play games liao tata

Wooo shiok and mad at the same time.....

Been a long time since i had slpt up to so late in the afternoon. Its only 15 after i woke up when i wrote this =D. The feeling damn shiok.

Last nite whole nite rushing GE again.....cos today got maintainence, wahhh i tot maintainence up to 4pm nia but end up just now i check webby today got extended up to 6pm, fark angry. i tot i wake up this time play other games awhile can GE liao but haix they have to do this to me.... somemore my FT pass just activated, kns waste time liao. stupid iah pui.

Nth interesting going on in my life recently, spend time playing lots of GE. Hmm i tot today louis is suppose to wake me up at noon to gout, haha i just checked my fone, he called twice but i nvr hear =x. Well guess wont be going out today. Getting hungry now, still deciding what to eat. Chips or rice =p. I need energy for the lvl rush again tonite, guess i'll go with rice+chips LOLOLOL!!!!!!!!

1 day no see =D

heh 1 day nvr blog, was too bz ytd le, bz cheonging my GE haha. Anyway life is getting better now. I was shocked today when i woke up and a friend whom we seldom chat with msg me in msn. i tot only the msg was only a hey or sumting like that but end up she was consoling over the matter. wow 感动 sia. Haha i kinda envy her bf, so unlomantic and toot she also will stick by him for so long without complains, 好幸福喔。

Anyway nth much interesting to update here also. No good nice songs worth puttong up here too. I'm still waiting for some1 to lend me weilian's new album haha. Ok le nth to write le, Just wana thx to all my frds who cared abt me during this time, don't worry i'm getting better now. I wont fall just becos of a tree =D theres a whole freaking forest out there for me to chop leh~~

Cold morning.....

It was really cold this morning cos outside was raining heavily. I can feel my life is slowly going back to normal now, cos today when i woke up the 1st thing i thought of wasnt her but my afk charecters in GE LOL. Well thats a good start i guess. Gotta catch up some lvls fast if not i'll probably miss out a number of colony wars.

Anyway making myself some breakfast now, didnt know what to eat haha so just toast some bread with butter and munch for the time being. myb later then cook noodles =D Last day to play the whole day. tmr will be starting work le.

Ok le dun talk liao my bread is done. Cya when i cya the next time =D

Wooo so late then come update =p

Well 1+ am le, today damn sian, kena dua by weiwei, wake up see his msg say he lao sai.... then quickly called up ah gay and end up he also nvr go, so if i go means its me and their frd qingxiang.... me and her not close so i decided not to go also... stayed at home whole day lvl-ing in GE, piangz 12 hours only 10 lvls sia... shag liao.

Tmr another boring day. Guess whole day will be in GE again. At least now i've found something that keeps my mind from thinking abt her. Time really fly pass fast, and b4 i noticed, it was alrdy so late. been almost 2 weeks of my life without her alrdy, i guess altho i can't get used to it, but i will still have to eventually, I really do not wish to have anymroe nitemares in future, getting traumatic LOL. Anyway i just came in to blog for awhile, going back to GE now. CHEONG AH!!!!

Phobia....

After that nightmare yesterday, i spent my whole day in daze.....been thinking over and over again, will i ever trust another woman again? Up to now i still cant convince myself that there might be exceptions.... I really think i wont be able to trust another woman ever in my remaining years.

Anyway, I've finally got back my old room today. Spend the whole evening moving the stuffs. Tmr will be going blading with my buddies at ECP. Hope i'll be able to enjoy myself. Supposed to meet at 1pm but they're the usual late kakis, so i guess i'll leave home at 1pm ba LOL.

Anyway its late now, time to slp alrdy. Tmr after blading will come back and update the blog again.

Nightmare.....

Didnt expect myself to have a nightmare so soon. Really jerk me out of bed and its not even 10am when i was woken up by that dream.... i guess i'm really scarred by what happened until i canot easily forget it.

Well, i dreamt of her again, but to cut short the whole dream, i dreamt of her still lying to me that she's still with another guy when we got back together. Really dont know what do to sia, i didnt know when a person is hurt so deeply, he/she will get nightmares of the incident that happened...... i thought this only happens in dramas or movies. I guess in real life this does happens too. Anyway, i do not wish to think so much abt it liao. Its just too scary to even think....

I'm gonna go play GE now, hope everything will be better later in the day ba.

Suayness to the max......

3 mths free my @ss..... log in nia say my account not charged..... see liao sian 1/2.

Wasted 1 whole day to d/l now this kind of thing happen wah lao how suay can a person be????????????

This is boring sia... nth to do now liao. shld i go play with the blog's html? freaking blur lor see all those commands =.=.

Anyway forget it ba, seems like i'm just not fated to play GE.

Arghhh pek chek to the max ah......

Been trying to d/l GE since 1pm today, made 5 attempts to do so, and all 5 times the d/l just hang somewhere in the middle... kaoz, isit really that hard to even wana join my frds in a game?

Stupid HP DVD writer la, canot read DVD disc 1. Grrrr, HP products crappy sia.

Making my 6th attempt now alrdy 10% done.... wish me luck sia, 90% more to go... flashget 加油, u are my most reliable d/l accelerator so far. pls dont fail me~~~~~

Been training my 7 Keys just now... play until hand cramp liao, Funny thing is, i dun understand y i can pass V normal 7key at home but go arcade sure fail ... kns pui, impossible lor, everything is the same leh... need more training...

So boring at home now, watch tv also no gd programs, use pc also like sian 1/2. just wana faster log in GE and play now. Hmmm shld i go to the game convention again =p i bet Saturday and Sunday shld have more babes lor, especially the models muahahahaha. Myb shld start to jio ppl liao ba. Any1 interested?

Specially for my guardian angel somewhere out there.

I'm in the process of growing up and standing back on my feet. 1 yr later, i will go in search for u no matter which corner of the world u are at. For all i know, u could be a japanese, american, or myb even afghanistan... who cares? LOL

1 yr later I'll be out on my journey again, this time, i'll make sure i'll be able to be an almost perfect partner to u. For now I'm still in the healing process and learning to stand on my own feet. Would u wait for me to come pick u up?

I'll try to be as romantic as i could when i think i'm ready to come looking for ya. For the time being, just hope u will be able to take good care of urself ba.

As Usual.....

Duno y nowadays no matter how late i slp i still wake up around this time. Sian, wana slp longer also canot. Anyway, today will be buying GE installer CD and join Louis and Henry in GE until RO2 is out.

I hope my free 3 mths subscription is still valid ba. If not got to waste money again on the subscription liao. Well time to go wash up abit and go buy the cd le.

Ciao~

Playlist update

Those who have been following my blog might be curious how come my blog got Mayday and Stephenie sun's song ba, muahaha i used to dislike stephenie sun de, but this song i put here really very nice. I have also removed the Ekin song, too short liao, hear liao also not shiok hahaha. I think my playlist will be updated very often now. Only will post nice songs here, so if u wana know some good songs, do come back everyday and see if theres a surpirse waiting for u =)

Btw the song that john sang is a canto song, I've alrdy placed the control panel for the music player so u can just skip to the song which has the piano intro to listen to the song.

This is the song John sang. Very nice.

耿耿于怀---麦浚龙

你最近还好吗?尚爱看少女漫画吗?
最近近乎没露面你有新对象吗?
真想带你见见我刚识到的她
我想听你意见这算是病吧?
为何无论我愿意怎样试
怎样也不可一样爱慕她?

难道没练习太耐感觉都追不回来
试图再努力爱也显得不自在
不懂得如何谈恋爱
还是我太爱你对过去太放不开
难道是寂寞太耐生锈的锁不能开
钥匙也折断了留在旧患所在
怀内难怪跟谁也再没法恋爱

我有时仍很怕路过你那从前的家
往事若然未落幕再揭起有害吗?
真想带你见见我刚识到的她
我想听你意见这算是病吧?
为何无论我愿意怎样试
怎样也没令自己恋上她

难道没练习太耐感觉都追不回来
试图再努力爱也显得不自在
不懂得如何谈恋爱
还是我太爱你对过去太放不开
难道是寂寞太耐生锈的锁不能开
钥匙也折断了留在旧患所在
怀内放满对你的爱
难怪跟谁也再没法恋爱

难道没练习太耐感觉都追不回来
试图再努力爱也显得不自在
耿耿于怀从前的爱
从没有振作过痛了再痛也应该

难道是寂寞太耐生锈的锁不能开
往事却似断箭还剩下在体内
若怀内放满对你的爱
害怕一直也再没法恋爱

OMG 1st time after the past week i laughed like a mad man

Woah... today was a good day, been a long time since i hang out with the jokers liao. Remeber me saying i was meeting louis and henry for the food fair at suntec? Well the food fair simply sux!! Louis and me came up with a conclusion, the food found at the food fair is simply pasar malam food with the prices jacked up. Nothing much there to eat also. 100% lose to the food convention at expo previously.

Lucky thing there was a game convention going on, the moment we stepped in, muahahaha it felt like walking in heaven. I was anxiously looking for the RO2 booth but find so damn long also canot find. then we came up to this booth with soooooo many chio bu wahh me and louis see until jaw drop. Both of us were discussing which of the models are better looking, end up both our tastes are the same. He damn hum lor, i ask him use his HP help me take foto of them 1st but he scared serene see and scold him zzzzzzzz. Humster leh. Then at the Trickster booth, saw 2 models dressed as cats lol got 1 the sports bra same as my polo T colour, somemore her hot pants wooooo.... we kept walking around that 2 booths for quite sometime b4 we actually decided to go eat our breakfast, lunch and dinner LOL.

The food part is scary lor, we went to Sakae sushi for the lunch buffet at 5.15pm and the last order is like 5.30pm lol imagine we got only 15 mins to order our food. When we settle down i asked louis to order but he wanted me to do it instead, so ok lor, since he let me take order then i sure mass order 1 lor. He was boasting to Henry abt the food come and 5 secs later sure finish and we have to wait for the next plate of food, but it ended up the other way round. All the food come alomst at 1 shot, muahahah we were like 1st few plates speed eating, then when it comes to the 2nd half of the food, we started to force ourselves to eat liao LOLOLOLOL. Henry was still mocking louis abt how weak he was somemore still can boast. Muahaha, after we canot eat anymore, we asked for the bill, wahh when we go pay we have to pay a wastage surcharge of $19 sia. But the manager was good enough to let us take away the xtra food. Me and louis had enough of sushi for today, so the food ended up with Henry who didnt eat.

Oh i forgot 1 thing, while in the midst of eating, henry and I went out for a smoke, and he was telling me he actually read my blog this morning, haha i was shocked sia cos i tot he will be playing his GE, but ended up he say GE svr maintainence thats y he nth to do read my blog . Then he asked me if i am going to keep my blog for long and update it everyday. Well I've been doing that now, so i guess i'll continue to update it in future too, i scared next time old liao get forgetful, and i wont remeber all these things that happened. As we were talking abt the blog, he told me casually that he thought of starting a blog too, and the contents is abt SHIT!!!! LOL
It kinda crappy but damn funny in a way, he was telling me this " My blog : Day 1 Damn, no shit today. Comments : Nice, u'll need prune juice. Day 2 : Still no shit, i think i need more prune juice. Day 3 : woah had a good shit today, and he posts a pic of his shit in the blog >.<" the thought of this is just gross lor. But we were laughing like madman from outside sakae till we got seated back down in the restaurant. Then i told him, imagine a guy reading ur blog and talking to his GF abt what to have for dinner later, and he sees ur pile of shit, he might just tell his GF " Eh dear, i got no appetite to eat liao." and he goes to the toilet and throw up LOL.

Anyway back to our scene in Sakae. While we were eating, those 2 jokers cant stop cracking jokes and they made me spit out my food LOL both of them kena, and louis was like cursing lor.
Henry even came up an idea. The next time any of our guy frds wana break up with their ONS partner, bring them to Sakae sushi with me and henry along, so while i eat henry can crack joke to make me laugh and i spit at the girl. =p Sure make the girl damn pissed off hahaha.

After food, both me and louis almost couldnt walk, he kept telling me his water bag is bursting lol. that only happens to pregnant woman lor. But i felt the same way too. whats worse, i was so thirsty but yet i cant force myself to drink anything sia. too full liao. We waited for Mingxiong to come meet us after his work, and rit eafter he came i asked him to pass me his lemon tea for a sip, and it happened again LOL, I forgot what louis said that made me spit out the drink at Mingxiong, LOL thats 2 times within 2 hours. Duno y today so easy to laugh. Well we went to bugis after that, and as usual, Louis and Mingxiong at the beatmania 2DX 14th style machine showing off. But i must admit they are good, i could never play like them haha myb old liao ba.
time then was abt 7.30pm, and we were supposed to meet des at party world shenton at 8pm. but as usual, des says he will be late, so ok lor i expected his late to be like around 8.30, but up to 8.45 we are still waiting for him outside party world =.= he is super late. Both of us went in to get a room 1st and wait for him, wow u know what time he came in? 9.15pm sia, late for 1 hour 15 mins =.=. next time meet him must be later than him liao =x

Initially, there were only Des, his gf kelly, louis and me, after i went out for a smoke they told me Yupeng and John is coming, wow its been quite sometime since i last met the 2 of them, they have not changed much, but i didnt know yupeng sing that well. i was kinda taken aback when i heard her sing sia. Today in the KTV i did something that i have not done for a very very long time. They ask me to 点歌, so i started browsing the male singers, i ended up at Jay Chow's page hahahaha, those who went KTV with me b4 shld know what happened next. After i closed the Jay Chow's song list, i have alrdy selected 4 pages of Jay's songs, muahahaha it was damn scary.

Throughout the whole KTV , we were laughing and joking non stop. Happening nite. Its really been a long time since i enjoyed myself so much. I only happened to emo for around 1-2 mins when i was singing Gary's 背叛. After that song i was back to normal again. Guess it was wrong to choose that song ba, but canot leh, i go ktv cfm will sing that song de, so nice....

In the midst of the ktv session, my mum's frd called me up and tell me my mum locked herself out of her room, i was like WTF!!! how did she do that? but then i was told not to worry cos some1 is alrdy rushing to my house to help her. After my fone call louis was asking me, who's Derrick ( the person who called)? i told him it was my mum's frd, and my mum used MSN to ask his frd to call me cos her fone also in the locked room. Wahh when Louis knows my mum uses MSN he was like, RESPECT! LOL i guess my mum really damn modern ba. All of them were saying their mum doesnt even know how to use the computer, yet my mum even knows how to MSN lor. I was so damn proud at that time sia.

End of the day, des drove me home even tho its not very convenient cos by rite his home is nearer to shenton. He is 1 good bro i have who will never be so 计较 with me 1. although sometimes the way he tell me things like very 计较 but i can tell his only joking. Reached home at around 1+ am, and my mum was calling the locksmith at that time to come unlock her room door, wow it costs $70 to do it sia. so expensive.

Did the usual stuffs, bath and log in MSN, i was kinda surprised to see Gin still logged in MSN cos she shld be working tmr and she's still up so late. chatted with her for awhile while i was updating my blog. Hmm glad to know she enjoys reading my blog ba, the reason for me to start this blog initially was for her, but now i find blogging kinda interesting myself LOL. Used to think blogging is a waste of time, but now blogging has become a part of my daily routine le. I guess its good to trash out my emotions somewhere rather than keeping them to myself.

And here i am blogging this whole long story, i hope i did not bore u guys =p , gonna do some updating to my music playlist for my blog now, John just intro a very nice canto song for me. Will try to find the lyrics to put here for u guys to read.

Cya tmr ;)


PS : Those of u who are waiting for RO2 Eng, heres the news i got from the convention. It will be released early 2008, Company that will be hosting it will be Asiasoft, the company that brought u MapleSEA and AuditionSEA. Very stable server and reliable company. I'll be looking forward to it.

Suddenly remebered....

Saw the sad puppy pic, its just suddenly reminds me when she always says i must be a husky in my previous life. That puppy picture could be what i look like in my previous life when i'm sad.

Finished a few stuffs on my blog now waiting to go out to meet louis and henry. Haix Life sux, but without life, i wouldnt even be here. Y are there always 2 sides to something. I'm already learning to see things both ways now. Better stop being such an MCP lol.

Well got to go get prepared now... Cya when i cya ;)

Wtf Y am i so suay.....

Last nite play with the blog until quite late, i think up to around 5am+ then i go slp. Took me quite awhile to fall aslp..... Then all of a sudden......bang bang bang bang bang......i woke up and found out its already 10.30am, i could have slpt longer if it wasnt for the "orchestra group" from the funeral downstairs holding their concert early in the morning.

Anyway, new day today but i'm having the same mood i was having for the past week, nothing is improving i guess. 1 good thing is i'll be able to start work next week. Hope by then, work will be able to keep my mind occupied from this agony.

Haha i actually liked my blog site now, the music actually tells u the stages in my marraige, i sang her the Ekin Cheng's song on our ROM nite and a pledge of my love for her, then i got betrayed, and now i finally realised it was my fault but its too late to do anything abt it....3 songs to describe the 3 yrs marraige.

Ah lu wun be up so early cos i heard from henry he slpt around 6am+ too. He's lucky he doesnt have an orchestra concert playing near his house, so i guess it'll be quite sometime b4 he wakes up...

Hmm, 2 more strands of white hair, i really have to go dye my hair soon, if not my whole head will soon become white. Most likely to do that next month ba.

闷，烦， 无奈， 空虚， 现在用这几个字来型容我最恰当。 突然生命里不见了一些东西， 对一个人来说， 是很难式应的一件事。 不知我何时才能够恢复那开心的我。 也许这一生都不会吧。 作天看到我朋友的Msn nick 写了这句话 “命里有时终需有，命里无时莫强求。” 这句话果然说的没错。失去的东西无论你如何得强求， 不是你的终归不是你的， 不管你如何去改， 如何去做， 也是不会有结果。 竟然是这样的话， 到不如把生命乘下的时间都投资在一些更有意义的东西。 一切就让他随风儿来， 也就让他随风儿去吧。 我相信在不久的将来， 我的生活会更加精彩。希望我不会永远都为了这件事儿没勇气去开始一段新的恋情吧。

我的守护天使你到底在那里？ 在我最需要你的时候， 你却偷偷跑了去玩，丢下我一个人不管了。 你是要我学习一个人成长是吗？ 你别坦心， 我不会辜负你对我的期望的， 我一定能重新的站起来。 当我做到以后， 你可一定要回来我身边喔。

今天暂时就写道这里， 晚一些如果有事要记录下来的， 我就会回来写。 拜拜咯。

Fits perfectly into the story.

大男人·小女孩

不是我的错我们都听过
完美的时候要更多
找这时候说的太多
有时候的我
只想和你一样沉默
不想单单罗罗嗦嗦
水也灭不掉的火


也许大男人真的很男人 (也许大男人没那么男人)
少了点风度还是不承认
有时候错的并不知道错的
不想借口只是直接一天说
有时候女孩没那么小孩
心里的无奈也需要点关怀
遗憾的遗留变成勉强了
怎么能重新再来

Laughing at myself

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
I already know I wont be able to take it when I go back my own ways. But i think in a breakup, 1 party will have to take the blame ba. I just hope by taking this blame she will be able to move on to a better life. I'll be praying for her to meet a better guy soon so she can start afresh and forget this ungrateful brat here.
Nasty words said, its does hurt me to say those words when i dont really mean it too. Thats the only way i can think of to let her hate me totally. Boredom is killing me. Suddenly my life has got no more meaning to carry on, have to find something exciting to do soon.
Tmr will be another new day, going to the food fair with louis, it'll probably be just a temporary form of killing my time. I dont really have the habit to emo at ktvs lets see if tmr nite's ktv will have any effect on me.
Went up to her office just now to pass back the house keys, the moment i saw her, i really feel like running up to her and hug her, but since i chose to leave i have to just treat her as an enemy. i dare not look into her eyes just now cos i'm afraid i cant control myself to continue with the act. I bet I've really managed to make her hate me this time. No more dragging on. Sad on 1 hand that I might nvr be able to see her again, happy on the other hand that she might be better off without me and some1 better might just come to her.
Duno what to do now, no mood for any games, watch tv like staring blankly at the screen, smoke also smoke less than 3 puffs on a single stick then no more liao. Wana go out but duno where to go. I really wonder when i'll be able to stop breathing and leave peacefully. Or myb some1 could give me a helping hand in that? better not, if not u'll be charged for murder lol.
During our marraige preparation course, we were asked to write each other's good points and bad points out and see which 1 do we see most in our partner, and as expected its the bad points. Its only until a breakup then i could see her good points.
1) She's very caring towards her partner giving him all the attention he needs whenever he feels down.
2) She a hardworking woman, may it be at work or at home. She does the housework with no complains.
3) Many times she will bring home something her husband likes and give him as a surprise.
4) Although shes not hungry, she'll still accompany her husband to eat. She'll even say she like to see her husband eat cos it really looks like he's enjoying the food.
5) If she knows her husband needs something, she will try her very best to help out.
6) Whenever she goes out with her husband and his friends, she will always spare a thought for his "face". Giving him the respects he needed in front of his friends cos she says all guys want "face" she's only doing her part as a wife.
7) She a good host at home when her husband's friends come over. Always offering to help them do something like pouring drinks and bringing in chips even when she's told to rest and let the others self service.
8) She keeps secrets for her husband very well.
9) Occasionally, she will call her husband during work and ask if he has eaten anything or not. but usually this will end up her hanging the fone feeling sad cos her husband will somehow or another scold her or ignore her over the fone.
10) When her husband cant slp at nite she'll accompany him to chat until he's aslp. If she's too tired she'll just let him talk until she slps lol.
11) She will make an effort to join her husband to do whatever he's doing at that point of time, but usually she'll be left alone.
12) During weekends when she wakes up early and her husband is still slping, she'll go down to buy him breakfast.
13) when her husband is very sick, she'll take leave to come home look after him and bring him to the doc.
14) She rather eat lesser rice at home and let her husband have more cos she scared he gets hungry at nite.
All these good points in a single woman, where on earth can u find such wife? Shld any other guy managed to make her ur wife, pls do cherish her. Don't make her sad like what i did to her.
From initial stage where i cant even write out 1 good point abt her until the break up stage i can now list out 14 of them. Its really true that a person will only start to cherish what he has lost.
过去的一切已成回忆，为一能做的就是把这回忆永远保留在心里。偶尔回想起来会很甜美。苦涩的一段感情就像咖啡，又苦又甜的感觉让人无法入眠。