Received a call from her this afternoon, at 1st i couldnt reco her voice mistaking it for xue. She was talking softly and patiently to me over the fone, but somehow i just couldnt control my anger when i hear her voice. Scenes of being accused and betrayed started floating back to my memories again. I was really burning inside. Although i was woken up from my slp by her, i could remember clearly what i told her over the fone. I really mean it when i said those words. I'm just too hurt to deceive myself anymore. Despite trying to pick myself up again trying to win her back, she, again shattered my hopes by accusing me. I've been totally beaten up by her. Today was the day i really couldnt take it anymore, i spoke up my feelings abt how she have hurt me, i told her how much i hated her after the accusation made by her, after that i fell back to slp with a few drop of tears in my eyes. Soon after i woke up feeling lighter... No not my weight of cos, but its my heart that felt lighter. somehow i think by keeping all those words to myself have made me depressed for so long. I somehow felt i was released from her torture chamber. Then on the other hand i was in dillema, have i spoken too harsh to her when she was trying to be nice to me?
When she told me that her house internet was cut off, the 1st thing that actually came to my mind was..."So what? u sure have ur ways to entertain urself... so many guys are waiting to date u, u can afford to change a different guy everyday for at least a month.And i believe those guys will be so willing to pay for whatever the expenses for the day" My gosh, in my mind is she really such a slut? Or do i actually think of all women this way? Such confusions, what has turned me into such monster? But end of the day, i'm still me. Whatever problems u have, it doesnt concerns me, so dont ever make ur problems mine. ( this phrase goes out to everybody not just to u so dont u start ASSUMING that its for u only)
Rushing assignment for the whole day today, no time to log in PW to rush my last 2 lvls. Thought that assignment can finish fast but ended up after reading its contents i found out its going to be a long day for me. Called gary up and asked him to lvl for me 1st but he also rushing his own charecter.. then left 1 person to call liao. When i called her, she was still slping. LOL her voice still so sexy when she just woke up LOLOLOLOLOL. Thats how we always disturb her =p
This person is none other than xiaoxue lor. Ask her to help me lvl a few % for me b4 i can log in again. I believe she wun dua me ba. No matter what also soo long frd liao, at least got 10% i also happy.
Now at the present moment i'm updating this, i felt much relieved and less depressed cos i know when somethings are meant to be ended, it has to end. I've got to stop deceiving myself.
对方是谁， 应该很帅， 我有点累， 祝福你有他陪。。。
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