Made a call to her to check if she has found any lawyers to prepare our papers, and like i've predicted she's still ourside. See i know even without internet, she'll still have ways to entertain herself. Told her to go check HoH cos a frd told me the prices there are much cheaper and also told her to do it asap. I really feel the devil in me slowly emerging, it felt kinda good to be a bad guy. I dun have to think of any1's feelings and just do whatever i like. Whats the point of thinking so much when they dun appreciate it when u consider abt their feelings? No1 ever considered abt my feelings apart from my mum. No1 ever know how i felt during these time, how much i've endured, how many sleepless nites, how much falling down and picking myself back up again.All they know is to point their fingers at me even when i've done nth wrong. Since these ppl see me as this way, i might as well be they way they see me as. At least this will make me feel better cos i really am like that.
She says i've broken my promise again to help, then so be it, whats so great abt breaking 1 more promise? I'll break it. She says i'm being lazy again after we split up whereby i'm trying to work hard, well so be it i'll be lazy like what she said. Since whatever things that i do are wrong, then i might as well keep doing things that are wrong.She said the reason for me trying to win her back is becos i wanted revenge, well if thats how she sees it as then i shall do it, but i'm not going to win her heart back, i'm gonna take revengeby not laying a finger finger on her. No reason out there for me to be a good guy anymore. I've just had a taste of being a bad guy and i kinda enjoyed it. During the past 3 yrs, she knows i cant open up my heart fully to another girl due to my previous relationship. Yes she gave me hopes, she assured me over and over again that she'll not be like that. And when i finally opened up my heart fully to her, she deceived me, she betrayed me, she's toying with me. Now she says that i'm trying to get back together with her again cos i wanted revenge. If thats the way she sees me, then thats the way i shall do it, BUT i'll nvr go back to her side to take my revenge. I'll have my revenge without even laying a single finger on her. I'm gonna enjoy every single moment of this. No wonder ppl always say revenge is sweet. Now i know, it really is very sweet. Well I'm gonna just do all these things as not to let u down on how u see me as. U are so very true that i'm still lazy, i like to break my promise, and yes i wanted revenge on u allllllll this time. i dun even give a damn how ur frd thinks i am, what r they? they're nth but a bunch of animals who teaches u to betray ur husband. They're nth but lowlives animals who thinks highly of themselves but are actually a piece of shit in reality. Oh btw, u better stop going for so much supper or drinking or eating too much. cos u'll soon grow fat and when u're fat, u'll start to lose ur queue of guys who wana flirt with u, and eventually u'll have no more attention from guys. In the meantime, myb u can get 1 of those guys in ur queue to pay for ur internet bills 1st. Just open ur mouth, believe me, they'll fork out the money in less that a day to help u. U dun even have to pay them back, cos to a guy who wants to go after u, that little amount of money they still can treat it as investment for a good time. Am i hurting u with what i've just said??? AWWWWW too bad, cos thats how u show me of what kind of a person u really are. AWWWW dont even shed a tear now, those tears mean nth to me, crocodile tears......... U wana know how hard my heart is now? Remove the head of the BIG hammer at ur house, get 1 of ur guy "friend" to throw throw it on the floor of the coridor outside ur house with all his strength. Thats how hard my heart is now.
Pray to God to give u courage to die? i'd rather submit myself to the Devil and make other ppl suffer more than i do. Not many ppl see eye to eye with my doings, but i dun care, its my business so y shld u even bother? I LOVE MY LIFE NOW. So much hatred... everything in me is HATE, ANGER, REVENGE. I'm only happy when i see ppl suffer now. U want me to be happy? Then make sure u suffer. U want to battle me in this emotional duel? Then live a better life and let me know, i'll feel devasted if i know u're not suffering enough. I'll make sure u remember me for the rest of ur life in the bad ways and not the good ways.
Ppl say "If u are good in ur life, u go to heaven when u die, but if u're bad u go to hell."
I think i rather go to hell than going to heaven. Have u ever heard of smoking and drinking in heaven? Have u ever heard of strip clubs in heaven? Have u ever heard of sex in heaven? Of cos not, they are all too goody 2 shoes to even do all this. SO called have to be upright and behold justice, MY ASS. Hell isnt that bad, at least everything thats illegal here or considered a bad thing to do while being alive, u get them in hell. Y make myself suffer in heaven? Aint it better to enjoy my afterlife?
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